Therapy
by Squabble
Summary: Lester finally decides that the team needs bonding therapy. Takes place in Series 4. Dedicated to Carlough. NOW COMPLETE.
1. Team Building

**Yes, I know I have multiple stories going on, but I was inspired by Carlough's story, Adventures in Therapy (a NCIS fic). I have permission to borrow her lovely loony Lauren. I hope you enjoy this story :)**

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Matt hesitated and questioned whether he should knock or make an excuse to leave. Staring at the door to Conference Room A he wondered how bad could it be? It was only a therapy session. Team and colleague bonding to be exact. He glanced over his shoulder and examined his co-workers carefully. Abby was talking quietly to Jess, both girls looked curious. Connor seemed care free as he whistled a cheery tune and paced back and forth. Becker leaned against the wall to his right. He was the only one that didn't think therapy was a good idea.

_"You're kidding," Becker crossed his arms and glared daggers at Lester. "Therapy?"_

_The civil servant shrugged and straightened his cuffs._

_"No. I'm not. This team is in dire need of a therapist."_

_"Why? None of us are mentally or physically unstable,"_

_"Team building. It's a precaution to keep from any fights during a mission. You will learn more about yourself and your peers." Matt dug his hands into his jean pockets, slightly uncomfortable with the idea. Becker didn't look to happy about it either. "Who knows, maybe it will build your trust in each other," Lester purposely looked at Matt and Becker._

_"We bond enough, thanks," Matt stated hoping his say would get them out of it._

_"Not enough for me. You five will be meeting up at Conference Room A, every Wednesday, all day."_

_Connor opened his mouth to say something but Lester held up a finger, cutting him off._

_"Two months of therapy. Think of it... as a mental health check up," he mused._

_"I'm head of security, I don't need to bond," Becker said._

_"You still work with the team on a daily basis. Any questions?" Lester asked the group. Before anyone could reply he nodded. "Good. Your first session starts tomorrow," Lester turned away and walked off towards his office._

_"Or in simpler terms;" Connor said and grinned. "Becker, you're going to therapy."_

Becker prodded Matt aside with his shoulder and knocked on the door firmly.

"The longer we wait, the longer our session goes on for," he growled. "Bad enough we have a session to begin with,"

"Come in!" A chipper female voice responded.

Matt exchanged looks with his team before bravely venturing in.

Someone had moved all of the furniture to the sides of the room, leaving a cluttered desk in the back, and empty space in the front. In the middle stood a woman. She was small, blond, and extremely enthusiastic. The woman clapped her hands excitedly and beamed at them.

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" She had a noticeable American accent and a seemingly permanent smile.

Becker sighed.

"or not," he muttered, eying the door.

The woman bounced up to him.

"There will be no negativity in this room. We are positive people, or will be. We are happy citizens. We are-"

"Sorry, ma'am," Matt cut her off before she could continue on. "He didn't mean it," He received look that clearly said yes I did from the Captain, but chose to ignore it.

"Thank you, Matthew. Or Matt? Which do you prefer? I'd say Matt. I'll call you Matt, okay Matt?" she rambled. "I read up and memorized everyones names! Gives us more time for fun!" she twirled in a delicate circle.

"Abby Maitland, Connor Temple, Matt Anderson, Jessica Parker, and H-"

"Becker's fine," The soldier interrupted gruffly. Being confined n a room with this lady for a day was bad enough.

Connor's face lit up. "No go on. It starts with an 'H'. Hector? Hugo? H-"

"Shut up, Temple," Becker retorted.

"No, no no. No negativity! And we are on first name basis here, with the exception of you. I understand, sweetheart. It's not easy living with a name like that." The woman spun to face Connor, her blond hair slapping Becker's face. "But you must be so offended!" She turned to Becker. "Apologize to Connor, now."

Becker held back a laugh. "What? Apologize to him?"

"Yes," she glared at the Captain. He wasn't the least bit intimidated by her and apparently she wasn't intimidated by him. He scoffed and looked at Connor who was smiling smugly at him.

"Fine. I'm sorry, Temple."

Her glare deepened.

"Connor,"

"Better," she said in a sing song voice and a smile once again appeared on her face. Becker on the other hand looked like he wanted to strangle her. "Oh! I forgot to introduce myself, silly me. My name is Dr. Lauren Seris, but please call me Lauren,"

When no one responded other than a awkward cough from Connor she continued.

"There are a few new rules I added to my list since my last group in D.C. Makes a total of 30 rules, or 40, or 50." Lauren withdrew a sheet of paper from her desk, the handwriting barely legible.

"Rule One, no negativity. Rule Two, no put downs. Rule Three, first names. Rule Four, we will all participate in the activities. Rule Five, this room will be scissor free. Rule Si-"

Jess raised her hand, a bit shyly.

"Why can't we have scissors in here? Not that I have any on me now, but I'm wondering."

Jess watched Lauren walk towards the door and lock it. She beckoned for everyone to come closer before whispering.

"Scissors are a deadly weapon," she said, her voice low. "Even saftey scissors. They are killing machines that should be banned. I started a petition when I was eight back in the U.S. it never went through though," Lauren shook her head sadly. "What the government doesn't know."

Abby exchanged worried glances with Jess.

Connor almost laughed. Their therapist was scared of scissors. It was almost funny how they were technically connected to the government. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, he thought.

"Oh, alright..." Jess took a uneasy step back behind Becker and Matt.

"Rule Six, No lying. Lying is bad. Very bad. Rule Seven, sarcasm is not appreciated. Rule Eight..."

"I think she's high." Connor whispered to Abby. "Or drunk."

"She's the one that needs a therapist," Becker muttered low enough so Lauren couldn't hear.

"Becker," Abby scolded playfully and slapped him on the arm. "No put downs, rule number two,"

"Abigail." he replied in the same tone. "No physical violence, rule number nine," he countered.

"Rule number Twenty Six..."

Matt glanced at his watch and to his personal disappointed only ten minutes had passed by since they first entered the room. Eight more hours to go.

* * *

**How was that? I need some ideas for therapeutic bonding activities. Thanks :)**


	2. Day One: Minefield

"All clear? Good," Lauren folded up her list and tossed it onto her desk. It landed on top of a container with what seemed to be spaghetti. Or what was.

"We're going to start with a trust game!" Lauren exclaimed and skipped towards the door. She unlocked it and turned to face the team. "The people that were booked for Conference Room B kindly let us use it for our obstacle course!"

Those people were in for an important stock meeting. Matt was somewhat worried what this woman had done to make them cancel.

The group followed Lauren into the next room, Connor glancing down the hall wondering if he could make a run for it.

Inside, the furniture had been cleared completely from the room and instead lay an assortment of objects and obstacles. More like stray office equipment. Chairs were strewn across the room, banana peels lay out for someone to step on, spills of water could be seen, scraps of paper littered on the ground. That was only a few of the disastrous items on the floor. It looked more like the residue of a tornado rather than a obstacle course. Abby wondered whether it was purposely made to look like that, or it was the result of Lauren's 'convincing'.

Once they were in and the door was again closed, Lauren held up three blind folds with a grin. Connor swore he saw her eye twitch maniacally.

"You will work in pairs. One person will be blindfolded while the other verbally guides his or her partner around the obstacles!" She turned to face Matt.

"You will work with Jess. Matt and Jess!" Lauren giggled happily, the reason why unknown to everyone else.

"Connor you will work with Becker, seeing as you two have some trust issues to work out,"

Becker glared down at Connor whom glared down at Lauren, but she had her back to him.

"Abby you'll work with me!" she said enthusiastically.

Abby forced a smile and silently hoped trustworthiness over came craziness.

* * *

"Would you like to go first?" Matt asked. He wasn't to fond of the idea of walking blindly into that mess.

"Sure, yeah. At least I can trust you," Jess joked and rolled her eyes towards Lauren whom was working with Abby to their right. She tied the blind fold around her head so it covered her eyes.

"Starting from the front of the room, you will guide your partner across to the back in a straight line!" Lauren directed.

"Alright, let's get to the end of the room!" Jess said, attempting to sound cheerful.

Matt nodded and sighed. He never thought _therapy_ would be involved with his plan.

While Matt was staring off in space, Jess took her first step...onto a banana peel. Just like a cartoon she slipped. Matt quickly caught her before she hit the floor.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I should have let you know about that,"

Jess laughed shakily beginning to doubt her trust in him. She wondered how Lauren would like that.

"Remind me to never wear heels on Wednesday,"

* * *

Becker glared at Connor. Connor tried glaring back.

"You first, Temple," Lauren snapped her head towards the pair and gave Becker a look that was equivalent to a bear that was slapped on the backside.

"Connor," Becker hissed and Lauren flashed the Captain a sweet smile.

Connor was about to protest when he figured there wouldn't be a point to it. He just grumbled a bit and covered his eyes with the navy blue blind fold. At least he could look forward to making Becker suffer when he made it to the end.

Thoughts began processing through his mind. Wet floor signs Connor usually ignored and he made it out fine. Chairs are no problem, he would just shove them away. Do people actually slip on banana peels? Or was that only in Mario Kart? Feeling a bit more confident, Connor began taking fast paced steps, arms outstretched. The faster, the quicker, the easier, was his motto; at least for now.

"You should slow down," Becker warned. Connor felt a office chair in front of him and thrust it roughly away; towards Becker's direction. He heard the soldier grunt as the chair made contact with his leg and stop walking for a moment leaving Connor grinning at his achievement.

"Nah, I'll be fi-" Suddenly his feet went out from under him and Connor fell backwards, smacking his head against the chair. The same chair. "Ow,"

Becker watched in amusement as his partner slipped on what seemed like a note pad. He pushed the chair that Temple had shoved at him forwards and Connor hit his head against it. Revenge.

"You coulda warned me, you know. That's the point of you being there and all." Connor muttered as Becker hauled him up to his feet.

"I did. I said 'You should slow down'," Becker replied and shoved Connor forwards. "Hurry up, and watch out for that stapler,"

* * *

Abby tried protesting, she really did, but Lauren wasn't one to take 'no' for an answer. She felt sorry for the poor sap that had to deal with Lauren's scissor petition.

Lauren wrapped a blind fold around Abby's head and tied a knot.

"Don't worry, Abby. You can trust me!" She exclaimed as she tightened the knot and gave it a pat.

Abby nodded and took a careful step forwards. Lauren encouraged her too keep going, telling her that there was nothing in front of her. Not yet trusting the woman, Abby waved her arms in front of her and took another step, and then another.

"There's a banana peel in front of you," Lauren called out just as Abby stepped on something squishy. She gently moved it aside with her foot, and breathed out a sigh.

Abby hesitated when she heard a thud from a few feet over to her left followed by Connor's trademark 'ow'. Ignoring it and hoping her boyfriend was alright, Abby continued on as Lauren warned her about every single object that lay within two centimeters of her.

* * *

Jess had barely took four steps when she heard the alarm blaring. There was an anomaly.

"What is that?" Lauren cried out. "I...is it a fire?"

Matt undid the knot on the back of Jess's blind fold. Obviously no one told the woman what the ARC was, and some how she managed to be oblivious enough to ignore the logo and signs.

"Yes! It's a fire!" Connor said, almost pleaded while tugging at the knot of his blindfold. "I'm too young to die, we have to get out of here!"

"Oh dear," Lauren clasped one hand over her mouth. "This is worse than cancer! A poor young man that's barely done anything in his life, dying tragically in a fire,"

Abby let out a choked, contained laugh and Becker snickered. Connor held back the urge to defend himself and continued his lie.

"That would be terrible wouldn't it, Lauren? But _you_, you're a one of a kind." She really was. " No one's a better therapist than you!" She really wasn't. "We have to get_ you_ out first!"

"Down the hall to the right, take two more lefts and enter stair case 4 to find the exit," Becker stated.

Lauren nodded, her eyes wide with fear.

Matt impatiently drummed his fingers on his leg. There was an anomaly that needed sealing.

"What about you guys," she asked.

"Go! Go without us!" Connor shouted dramatically still trying to undo his blind fold. "We'll be there in a sec," Connor made the mistake of stepping forwards, onto a pen. He fell flat on his back, still blind.

"I can't leave you all in here!" Lauren shrieked hysterically.

"Matt's an ex-fireman," Abby assured her and lightly pushed her towards the door. Lauren bit her lip and nodded. She ran down the hall screaming "Fire! Fire! There's a friggin' fire in the building! Get out NOW!".

Becker held a hand to his ear piece. "Escort Ms. Seris out of the ARC premises...Ignore her...She'll exit from Stair Case 4."

"Am I brilliant or what?" Connor grinned proudly as he finally removed his blindfold. Abby rolled her eyes and helped him up.

"Guys, anomaly, remember? I'll send the co-ordinates to you." Jess grimaced at the office, feeling sorry for the person that had to clean it all up. She carefully avoided the mess and jogged towards her beloved ADD in the main ops.

"A fire man?" Matt raised an eyebrow at Abby.

"It got her out of here didn't it?" She retorted.

Matt just shook his head.

"We should hurry, there might be a creature incursion." he headed out the exit with Abby, expecting the rest of his team to follow.

"Hey, Becker. How do you know she's single?" Connor asked Becker curiously as he brushed off his jacket. "Did you ask her out sometime?" he grinned.

"No, I took an educated guess," Becker responded and stalked towards the door that was left ajar.

Connor hopped over a rotting apple that was kicked one too many times.

"Fair enough,"

* * *

**Wow, thanks for the 18 reviews on the first chapter. **

**Remember to report OOCness. **


	3. Day Two: Escape the Blank

"In your own time, Temple," Becker growled in his ear. Connor's hand was wrapped around the door handle, but he didn't open it. He would never admit it to his friends, but he was slightly scared of Lauren. He was more scared of Becker of course, but Lauren came a very close second.

"Connor," Jess said more gently, giving Becker a fixed glare. "We're going to have to go in sometime,"

"You're right," Connor gulped and opened the door to Conference Room A. Lauren sat perched on the corner of her desk, eating a banana.

Jess paled slightly at the sight of the fruit, but recovered her composure quickly.

"Welcome!" Lauren swallowed a mouthful and tossed the banana peel over her shoulder. It landed with a soft _plop_ on the lid of her laptop. If she cared, she didn't show it. "Isn't this a beautiful morning?" She exclaimed, closing her eyes and gestured with her arms to the pouring rain through the window.

"Yeah, wonderful." Connor mumbled and noticed Lester outside. The man was holding a briefcase over his head (probably trying to keep his Italian suit dry) and wearing a scowl on his face. Lester one handedly fumbling for his keys which had somehow managed to fall in a mud puddle. Lauren shut the blinds and opened her eyes.

"Today, we will be working on team cooperation in partners!" she said in a chipper voice.

Becker hoped he wasn't with Matt, seeing as some times they didn't get along. A lot of times. Most times.

Abby bit her tongue to keep from screaming. If she was stuck with Lauren again...

Connor on the other hand was praying (even though he wasn't at all religious) that Becker wasn't his partner. What ever they would be doing, it would result in pain.

Matt didn't care who he was paired up with. He was team leader after all he should be able to work with everyone.

Jess was content with anyone as her partner, even Lauren, but a little part of her hoped she would be paired with Becker...She blushed and turned to face the wall away from her team mates.

"What are we doing today?" Jess asked bravely.

Lauren clapped her hands excitedly and was literally shaking with excitement even though she wasn't the one that needed to participate in the activities.

"Escape the blank," she exclaimed, using her hands to make an arc over her head.

"Blank?" Matt furrowed his brow in confusion.

"'Escape the' either room, chair, or closet." Lauren beamed and snatched a file off of her desk. She flipped to the first page. "Your superior told me your job dealt with those kinds of extreme situations. Don'y worry, I understand. My last group dealt with criminals."

"Criminals?" Connor whispered to Abby whom shrugged.

Lauren withdrew some thick rope.

"Let's change up the pairs today," She bounced over to the team, her smile blinding them. "Jess, you and Connor will be both in chairs, tied together, in Conference Room B," Lauren spun on her heels to face Matt whom reflexively took a step back.

"Matt, you and Becker will be locked in Conference Room C,"

The two exchanged cold looks. Lauren ignored them and hopped towards Abby happily.

The ex-zoologist knew what was coming. She was going to be locked in a closet with _Lauren _for a day_._ An experience that would probably scar her for life. It was times like these that made Abby miss the cretaceous. Just her and Connor.

"Abby, I wish I could accompany you in this task, but I'm claustrophobic." Lauren nodded and looked into the distance before returning her attention back to Abby. "Very claustrophobic. So you will have to accomplish escaping from The Closet single handedly." She dramatically raised a fist.

"Okay," Abby responded a little too quickly. She was trying hard not to smile triumphantly.

"Once you guys get out, come back here to this exact spot where I will be waiting. Then you're free for the day."

Connor couldn't help but grin at the thought of leaving therapy early.

Lauren looked almost sorrowful as she headed towards the door.

"Follow me, class."

* * *

Connor winced as Lauren tightened the knot for about the third time. He could feel the rope cutting into his wrists.

"Alrighty then," Lauren jumped back to standing position, her hands on her hips. "Good luck!" she gave them a thumbs up they couldn't return and ran off, leaving Jess and Connor bound by the wrists and ankles. They were both in classic, wooden chairs back to back. It was supposed to resemble some sort of hostage scenario you would see in movies.

Jess tried to move her hands but they were tied to tightly with Connor's.

"Any clue how we're going to get out?" Connor asked wearily, his genius brain searching for a solution. He had played these kinds of games online before, but they were much easier as games.

"Unless you have a knife on you, not really." Jess shifted uncomfortably in the wooden chair pulling Connor backwards. "Sorry," she apologized meekly.

Connor sighed.

"It's alright." He tried wriggling out but it only caused a severe rope burn. "She must have been a girl scout or something. These knots-" Connor strained to escape. "-are impossible," He leaned back in defeat.

Jess laughed and glanced around the conference room. Then she saw the paper clip. It was a shiny small dot on the floor, only a few feet away from them. Taunting her.

"Connor, look." She nodded towards the gleaming tool that would save them.

"Where?"

"To your left...um, your other left,"

"What? That paper clip?"

"Yes!" Jess exclaimed in exasperation.

"That's for picking locks, Jess."

"If we tried, we could saw through this rope," She was determined to get that paper clip. "Come on, Connor, so we can get the rest of the day off. Hop!"

Connor looked doubtfully at the paperclip. It was one of the little ones too. Reluctantly he pushed his feet hard off the ground and they slowly hopped towards the paperclip. Very slowly considering they usually got their timing wrong and tilt to one side too far for Jess's comfort. After a series of shrieks and yelps they were finally there.

"Okay, one of us will have to lean down to get it," Connor said. Jess bit her lip and nodded in agreement.

They both bent down at the same time.

* * *

Lester looked up from the document he was signing. He swore he heard...screaming? He massaged his temple and took an aspirin. The overdose of paperwork was getting to his mind, he mused in his mind as he signed his name.

* * *

With out the use of their hands they ended up landing on the side of their faces. Connor groaned as his cheek made contact with the hard, cold floor. Jess merely squeaked and winced at the thought of the bruise that was forming.

"Connor!"

"Jess!"

They both shouted out in frustration at each other, the chair, and Lauren.

Connor shook his head, or tried to. "Let's just get the paper clip," he said, the piece of metal inches away from his eye. "We have to spin around to get a hold of it,"

They flailed their legs pathetically and spun in a circle on the floor. Their cheeks scraped on the dirty floor and Jess couldn't help but wonder how many germs were on that floor. She managed to get a hold of the paper clip before Connor and worked as fast as she could with her hands tied up.

"C'mon, Jess. The faster we do this, the faster we're home free," Connor encouraged her.

Jess filed away with the little paper clip, and within twenty minutes, they were free. Or at least their arms were...

* * *

"See you boys later," Lauren called out cheerfully and slammed the door.

Matt immediately surveyed their surroundings. An even number of chairs surrounding two conference tables. A white board and projector. Nothing of real use.

"Any idea how we're going to get out?" Becker asked.

"Not yet," Matt replied and walked around the room. He looked out the window and wondered if they could survive a two story fall. Probably, but broken bones wouldn't do their job any good. Besides, the weather wasn't looking too good.

Becker tried the door handle and thought about picking the lock. He was a soldier, not a bank robber and he was pretty sure Matt wouldn't know how to considering the man cultivated plants as a hobby.

"Do you have any ideas?" Matt inquired.

"You're team leader. Isn't coming up with ideas natural to you?" Becker retorted.

"I was just asking for an opinion, Becker," Matt put his ear to the door and knocked on it.

"Are you hoping she would be stupid enough to let us out?"

"No negativity, Becker and that was not what I was aiming for. The wood isn't too thick. We can break it open." Matt slammed his shoulder against the door and grimaced slightly at the contact. It made a hollow sound but didn't open. He continued for another ten minutes.

Becker had a be-amused expression on his face as he watched his superior smash himself against a door. Out of all days to forget his mobile at home. He switched positions with Matt and gave it a go for another ten minutes before letting Matt take it on again.

"A little help would be nice." The team leader said after concluding it was useless.

"This is her idea of team cooperation. Slamming into a door _together_." Scowling Becker walked over to Matt. _Together_ they shouldered the door for a good fifteen minutes until it finally swung open.

Matt raised an eyebrow at Becker.

"Well the team cooperation thing did work." He said.

"So it did,"

They both cracked small smiles and headed towards the room one over.

* * *

Lauren pranced to one of the storage closets down the hall. She opened the door and gestured for Abby to step in. After she entered the room, Lauren shut the door and locked it, singing a happy song. After the footsteps dimmed Abby tried the door knob.

At least the woman knew how to lock a door.

Abby tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and got to work processing what she could use. Lester wouldn't be too happy if she damaged anything, so kicking open the door was not an option. Maybe if she's desperate, but she had eight hours to get out and it was a storage closet. Easy.

The closet she was in only contained a few items. Cleaning supplies on a wooden shelf, a blue bucket, a mop, and a broom with a dustpan to accompany it.

She sat down on the bucket and sighed in frustration. Abby tried looking past these simple objects for some way she could get out. Something she picked up from being in the cretaceous for a year.

After staring intensely at the objects for twenty minutes before she gave up. Abby concluded there wasn't a possible way could she use Febreze to help aid her escape.

She ran her hand through her wavy, blond hair and looked up. That's when she spotted it. How the hell did she miss something that was staring her in the face?

Abby got up and dragged the bucket until it was underneath the ventilation shaft. The next part of the plan came easily, so easily it made her grin. Abby snatched the broom from it's leaning position and jabbed it upwards. The vent lid came off with a pop.

She replaced the broom back to it's original place before hopping back on the bucket. Abby stood on her tip toes and jumped, her arms grasping for something to hold on to. Soon enough, she was in.

Crawling through the dusty shafts wasn't exactly what she called 'fun'. Abby wondered how Danny got anything out of it.

Then she saw the vent leading to Conference Room B. She had time to spare.

Connor and Jess were tied to a chair, on their side, spinning? Rolling her eyes, Abby crawled forwards until she made it to Conference Room C. Becker and Matt were arguing as usual. Nothing strange about that. Now she had to find her way to Conference Room A.

It would make sense to be near the other Conference Rooms, but she couldn't find it. All of the corners in the ventilation shafts looked the same. It took another fifteen minutes of crawling to locate the room where Lauren was. She had simply followed the high, off pitched singing.

_"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way-"_

* * *

"Wow," Lauren looked up from her watch in amazement. "Forty seven minutes. That's amazing, it's not even lunch yet,"

Connor high-fived Jess and they exchanged grins. He was about to say something but was cut off by the sound of metal. Suddenly Abby dropped down beside them...from the ceiling.

He yelped and jumped back as she smiled sweetly at him.

"Abby!" Lauren pulled her into a crushing hug. "The three of you..." The therapist was interrupted by the door swinging open and Becker and Matt entering, simultaneously rubbing their shoulders.

"All of you!" She put a hand to her chest and smiled proudly like a mother that was presented with macaroni art. "I don't know why Mr. Lester thought you guys needed to bond. It took less than an hour for all of you to escape and come here. That's a record time!" she enthused.

"We had motivation," Abby said.

Lauren nodded understandingly. "Motivation. Now that's a good thing to have. Always be positive, not negative." She shot a glare at Becker. "Think of the glass half full, not half empty! Negativity will eat up your soul and we can't have that happening. No, no, no. There seems to be at least one negative person everywhere I go." Lauren shook her head disappointedly. "Oh, Leroy."

Connor was the only one to respond to Lauren's little rant with a "Er, alright."

"I know I said you guys could go once you got out, but I wasn't expecting _all_ of you to escape so fast. We practically have a whole day left for fun! If you guys want to stay we can-"

"I have a stock meeting to get too," Becker said and edged towards the open door.

"My laptop needs some repair work," Connor darted towards the exit and tried to casually drag Becker out into the hall.

"There are animals in the menagerie to feed," Abby immediately followed him.

"One of my plants are going to flower," Matt walked briskly after Abby.

"There are some glitches on the computer I need to take care of," Jess dashed away before Lauren could say _anything_.

She nearly crashing into Matt's shoulder as she burst out of the room. The team had been waiting for her along the sides of the corridors, out of sight from their lunatic therapist. Luckily, Jess had shut the door when she barreled out, or else Lauren would have seen the team walking together towards the main operations room. No where near the menagerie or labs.

"Stock meeting? Since when did you go to stock meetings?" Connor snickered, amused at the thought of the captain cooped up in one of those boring meetings Lester went to every other day.

"Hardly. I was just testing if she noticed that all three conference rooms were being 'used', therefore no meetings could be held."

"Oh," Jess smiled in realization. "Wow,"

"What if -in a world where Lauren wasn't so _Lauren_- she managed to catch you?" Connor cocked his head slightly as they walked. A smile lingered on his face.

Becker looked at the geek as though the answer were obvious. "Then I would have said 'Did I say stock meeting? Sorry, that's for tomorrow. I meant I had inventory to do,'" He smirked as Connor shared a laugh with Abby and Jess.

Matt just shook his head like they were a bunch of kids. One session down, another avoided, seven more to go. He was beginning to hate Wednesdays.

* * *

**Carlough's amazing Lauren, and a little reference to her NCIS story Adventures in Therapy. **


	4. Day Three: Hugs and Kisses

**Warning, possible OC OCCness near the end.**

* * *

Jess stopped a meter away from the door, causing everyone to run into her back. She stood her ground and stared at the piece of paper taped on the door in her usual Wednesday horror.

_Therapy with Dr. Lauren Seris :) _ was scribbled crudely in a black marker.

"What's the hold up, Jess?" Matt asked from the back of the line.

"Well, you know..." she started, trying to come up with an excuse to leave. What could she say? _Hey whose up for coffee? How about I run out and get it, my treat._

Abby forced herself to try to think positively, but there was nothing positive about therapeutic team building sessions. Before she could regret it, Abby pushed the door open, revealing their worst nightmare.

Lauren sat in the middle of the room in a meditating position. She was surrounded by five green plastic chairs and had a carefree smile on her face.

"Good morning!" She said almost dreamily as she stood up and twirled as gracefully as a giraffe. Lauren breathed in deeply and did a front flip over a chair to reach them before opening her eyes. "I feel absolutely wonderful today! After my morning exercise routine and stretches I feel like I could run around the world!" She enthused and did another giraffe twirl. "Any who, today we will be talking!" Lauren announced proudly.

"Talking?" Connor asked and looked at her skeptically. "Like verbally?"

"Yes, silly. What did you think I meant?" She gave him a look like he was the nutter. "Now everyone sit down," She ordered and beckoned for everyone to take a seat. Lauren wheeled her office chair in the center of the circle where she sat contently.

"If you don't mind me asking, Lauren...What _exactly_ are we doing?" Matt inquired. Lauren spun around on her chair to face him.

"What part of 'talking' don't you guys understand? We're going to share information about ourselves and get to know each other more! Maybe you'll even get to know yourself better too!" She flashed them her trademark blinding smile. Lauren looked down at the clip board she was holding and mumbled something about activities found on Google. She circled something in crayon and looked up at the group."First, let's talk about our fears. It's good to know what your peers are afraid of so you can steer clear of them in the future."

"Or to use in a black mail scheme," Becker muttered, slouching in his seat. That earned a laugh from Connor and a disproving look from Lauren.

"Becker first. We'll go clockwise."

"What?" Becker sat up straighter.

"The woman wants you to share your fears," Connor told him as if talking to a child.

Becker scoffed and folded his arms across his chest.

"I don't have any," he stated.

Lauren leaped up so suddenly Jess nearly jumped herself.

"You must have a fear! How can you not be afraid of anything?" She exclaimed, waving her arms around with such gusto it nearly took out Abby's head.

"I'm a soldier. I'm trained not to be afraid of anything." he said slowly and carefully so he didn't set her off.

Lauren looked aghast.

"How about the dark? Bugs? Dogs?" Lauren grew paler at each word. She swallowed thickly and paused. "Scissors?" She squeaked.

Becker smirked.

"I _love_ the dark. Bugs don't bother me a bit. I owned a Rottweiler when I was a kid, and look, scissors." He saw it in the shop and thought Lauren might appreciate it. Becker withdrew the safety scissors from his pocket and dropped it on her desk. He returned to his seat, satisfied with Lauren's horrified expression. Everything he had said was fairly true and it worked wonders on the therapist. She sat as still as stone and paler. Her eyes were locked on the scissors that were meant for 8 year olds and younger.

"Lester wanted you to have a pair in your office," Becker lied and sat back in his seat feeling more content then when he walked in.

"M...m...moving...on," Lauren stammered. She squeezed her eyes shut as if that would make the 'killing machine' disappear. She reopened them and forced herself to look back at the group. "Connor,"

Connor bit his lip in concentration before looking back at the group.

"I have a fear of brain eating zombies. You know, like in Resident Evil. It's more terrifying if they're in a shopping center though. I once had a nightmare about it." Connor rambled. He looked up, his tongue poking out as he thought harder. "I'm also scared of Becker," he added.

"Good," Becker said in response.

Lauren snapped out of her scissor trance and went into full therapist mode.

"Connor, you shouldn't be afraid of Becker." She said and nodded. "Especially since he's your co-worker. You _must_ get over that fear."

"I'd like to keep it how it is," Becker quipped but was sadly ignored.

Lauren snapped her fingers and pointed at Becker. "Go hug him."

Abby sat upright, one eyebrow raised. Matt had the same reaction. Did they hear her right? Jess on the other hand covered her eyes with her hands. Poor Connor didn't stand a chance against a pissed off Becker.

"Excuse me?" Connor squeaked in half amazement, half terror. "Did you just tell me to hug Becker?"

"No way in hell," Becker replied calmly though the look in his eyes clearly said 'hug me and die'. Lauren was too oblivious to notice it.

"Connor. Hug Becker." Lauren said in a commanding voice. "Hug him."

Abby grit her teeth to prevent her from laughing. It was funny enough that their therapist was a lunatic.

Connor thought about his options rationally. He could hug Becker to embarrass him (the both of them) on the spot, or he could refuse and save himself a punch to the head. Tough.

Lauren crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. Once she realized Connor decided to do nothing, she turned to Matt. "Are you afraid of Becker?"

Matt gave her an amused look. "No, of course not."

Lauren smiled. "Fabulous! Show Connor there's nothing to be afraid of. Hug Becker,"

"Lauren," Becker said, his voice clearly stating he was on the verge of killing someone. "Please stop asking my colleagues to hug me," he managed to say it politely and without any 'negative' words.

Matt looked at Becker's glowering form, then at Lauren's encouraging one.

"No thank you," he simply said.

"Why? You said you weren't afraid of him." Lauren whined. She stamped her foot, hard enough to snap her four inch heel. Lauren didn't seem to notice as she continued on. "We seriously need to get over this awkwardness," She spun to Connor whom scooted a few inches back. "and fear. Give me one good reason why you shouldn't hug Becker."

_Murder, _Connor thought in despair. Though it was Matt that spoke up.

"Sexual harassment," Matt stated. Becker looked slightly relieved. Connor gave Matt a hidden double thumbs up before he turned to Abby.

"Is hugging considered as sexual harassment?" he whispered.

"Yes," Abby replied. "And in Lester's world he considers it as a offense to human nature." She quoted.

Lauren looked at her in dismay.

"Your boss?" She asked as if it were the most shocking thing in the world.

"That's the one," Connor chirped.

For a moment Lauren's face darkened, then returned to her normal bright self. "I'm going to have a talk with him,"

"Um, I don't suggest you should," Jess said meekly. Talks with Lester didn't end well, or start well.

"Why not?" Lauren demanded.

While the four were having a heated debate about Lester, Matt was 'talking' to Becker. He withdrew his phone so the tip showed and tapped on it when he got Becker's attention.

_"What?" _Becker mouthed. He looked partially annoyed from the hugging conversation from before.

_"Call me,"_ Matt mouthed back. The look from Becker's face showed he got the wrong message. _"I don't mean it like that. Just phone me."_

_"Why? Oh no, If I'm stuck here, you are too." _was Becker's reply.

_"I got you out from hugging Connor," _Matt in turn said.

Becker hesitated then reluctantly dialed a number into his phone before slipping it back into his pocket.

"It's just that he doesn't take requests too well," Jess explained with a reassuring nod from Abby.

"I don't und-" Lauren was rudely cut off by a cell phone ringing.

Matt held his phone to his ear.

"Hello?...I can't. I'm busy...Sorry?...She...What?...I'll be there as soon as possible...Yeah...Bye." Matt hung up and shook his head. "Sorry, Lauren. Something came up, I have to go."

Lauren was immediately by his side. "What happened?" She asked, genuinely concerned.

"My...niece...is in the hospital. She-" Matt looked around the room for any ideas. His gaze landed on the fire hazard that was Lauren's so called desk. "-cut herself with scissors," He concluded with a sincere expression.

"Oh no! That's terrible! You better get there right away," Lauren said pulling Matt up. "Go!" She shoved him towards the door and he nodded appreciatively as he walked out. Matt sighed in relief when he made it out. He was lucky today that he wasn't forced to reveal anything about himself. Shutting the door quietly he walked off towards his office, as far as possible from the conference room.

Not a moment later did Becker receive a text. He glanced at it while Lauren went on to discussing Abby's fears. Apparently she had a fear of swine flu and e-coli.

_Have a nice day -Matt_

Becker managed a one worded reply before Lauren finished with Jess who had a phobia of heights and centipedes.

_Idiot. -Becker_

Lauren stood up and spread out her arms. "Isn't it wonderful now that we know what our peers are afraid of? Now, let's play a game!"

At the word 'game' everyone let out simitaneous groans.

"We will go counter clockwise this time and you will ask the person next to you a question. Easy peasy lemon squeezy," Lauren clapped her hands and sat back down. "For example." She turned to Jess whom shrank backwards. "What's your favorite food?"

Jess wondered if it was considered a food. "Chocolate?"

Lauren nodded encouragingly. "Now you would ask Abby a question." she instructed.

"Er...What's your favorite appliance?" Jess blurted out. It was the only thing that came to mind.

"Appliance? Um, a stove." Abby answered, confused by Jess' question. She turned to Connor.

"What's your favorite season?" She decided to go with.

Connor took a moment to think. "Winter, cause I get to throw snow balls at people." He faced Becker and asked the one question everyone wanted to know the answer too. Everyone. If he figured it out, Connor calculated in his mind, he would have £420 in total from the soldiers that were paying him to tell them.

"What's your first name?"

"I'm not going to tell you," Becker instantly replied.

"Bu-"

"It's an invasion of privacy. You don't want Lester on your tail do you?"

Jess watched in interest as the conversation rallied back and forth like a tennis match until Lauren cut in.

"QUIET!" She screeched and for once all was silent in Conference Room A. "Thank you." She smiled sweetly at the two that were bickering only a minute ago. "Connor, can you ask Becker another question?"

So close. "Fine. What's your favorite color?"

"Black,"

Connor stood up and pointed at him in triumph. "Hah! That's a shade."

Becker threw his arms up. "Oh come on, Temple,"

"First name basis, Becker." Connor grinned at him smugly.

"BOYS!" Lauren shouted, uncharacteristically angry. Apparently she was intolerable to pointless fights. _Go figure_, Abby thought in beamusement.

"Yes, ma'am?" Connor said sheepishly, Becker still unfazed.

Lauren crossed her legs on her chair and went into some sort of yoga breathing exercise.

"Becker, continue." she said in a calm monotone voice. The calmest he had ever heard since they met.

The Captain sighed. "What's your favorite animal?" Becker decided to ask, thinking it was simple enough for a woman with a brain the size of a walnut to answer.

"Unicorns," Lauren replied truthfully. Her face didn't reveal any signs of a joke. "Their magic powers amaze me,"

Becker scoffed causing Lauren to spin her chair towards him.

"Are you doubting their abilities?" She questioned and began rambling on about the 'magical powers' of unicorns.

Connor stared at her before leaning over towards Abby. "She knows they aren't real, right?"

"I think," Abby replied, squinting at Lauren's features. "Maybe not,"

Becker was forced to listen to her rant that had moved on from unicorns, to rainbows, to leprechauns. He didn't even notice that she was finished until she walked over to him.

"Well? Do you still think Unicorns are a scoffing matter?"

"No ma'am," He automatically replied and stifled the urge to laugh.

Jess wished desperately that something would happen. That something would come up. She was jealous of Matt right now whom was probably free lancing as he usually did. Instead, she was sitting in a circle watching Lauren talk seriously to Becker about _unicorns._

"Great!" She sat back in her wheely chair causing it to roll back, dangerously close to Jess. "Now let's play a even funner, challenging game!" She rolled forwards to Jess' relief and grinned. "Instead of asking the person next to you a question, you'll say something you already know about them. We're going back to clockwise now," She beamed and turned to Becker.

"You are 26 and you went to Sandhurst." Becker worried at the thought of someone like Lauren reading his file.

"Connor's a geek," He said.

"Hey," Connor protested, glaring at Becker. "I am not a geek. I'm just smart, smarter than you, soldier boy."

"Right, that explains why your head is so big," Becker noted ignoring the use of his dreadful nickname.

Connor scowled. "Becker's gun obsessed, that's why he's single and lonely." he said.

"Connor _was_ single and lonely just by being himself," Becker retorted.

Suddenly a idea popped up in Connor's mind. One that would make the next two months pure _hell_ for Becker. No, he shouldn't say it, Becker would knock his head off, but...it was worth it.

"Becker's in love with you," Connor said loudly, looking directly at Lauren. She blushed and giggled like a school girl..

Becker looked at Connor slack-jawed. "I am _what_?"

"You are in love with Lauren. Remember you told me yesterday about how you thought of her every minute. Then I told you you were a sap." Connor grinned at Becker's look of dismay.

Jess felt a sinking feeling in her heart even though she knew Connor was lying through his teeth.

Becker turned to Lauren. He knew this wasn't going to end well and that future therapy sessions would be very...strange.

"I'm...I'm not in love with-"

Lauren giggled again and batted her eyelashes in a flirtatious manner. "It's okay. You don't have to keep denying it, Becker." She assured him.

Connor had a proud smile plastered to his face as he watched Becker protest and fail.

"I know how emotionally awkward you are, Becker, but you can tell me how you feel." Lauren nodded. "You have to tell people truthfully how you feel to bond with them."

_I don't want to bond with you_, Becker thought in exasperation. "Lauren, I don't love you," _or like you. _

Lauren shot him a flirty smile before bouncing off of her chair.

"We learned a lot about each other," She looked at Becker. "excluding Matt. Sadly, we can't participate in most of the activities I've planned today without him," Connor's face lit up in glee. "So I'm going to have to cut the session short again. But I promise next week we'll do those fun activities I had planned!"

"Yes!" Connor cheered, not because of the promised fun, but because they were cutting the session short. It was official. This shirt -the one Rex let a load on once- was lucky. He dashed out the door with Abby in tow.

Jess picked up her hand bag she left on the ground and shifted through the contents before standing up, confident she didn't leave anything behind. That would be a disaster.

"Oh Becker!" Lauren sang happily before skipping over to him. She grabbed his hand and wrote her phone number on it with a black _Sharpie_. From past experiences he knew it took at least a week to wash off. Becker inwardly winced as he looked at the number, childishly written on his palm before looking back at Lauren. He regretted it profoundly.

Lauren stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. Becker's eyes widened and he immediately pulled away, taking a step back for good measure. He caught glimpse of Connor from the door way, grinning like a idiot. Another reason why he should kill Temple. Looking over Lauren's shoulder he noticed Jess stiffen and quickly run out of the room, blushing madly.

"How do you feel now?" Lauren grinned, her eyes flickering maniacally.

Becker managed to regain his composure and looked at her before walking towards the door.

"Sexually harrassed."


	5. Day Four: Imaginary Friends

**Thank you Idiot1 for the Lester suggestion. I'm planning on possibly using that in the future. ;) ****Therapeutic activity suggestions are welcomed.** Again, Lauren belongs to the wonderful Carlough. Rock on! 

* * *

Becker spent every minute of the past week dreading for this day. Not to mention ignoring Connor and Matt's quips and bursts of laughter. The idiot had filled Matt in about the 'confession' and the kiss which caused a real riot. Then there were the soldiers that were watching CCTV. They got a real show. Within two days, practically everyone that didn't live under a rock knew about the love of his life. He should had just called in sick.

With a change of heart for Lauren, Connor opened the door with a cheery 'hello!'. He had a feeling this session would be awesome. Until he saw Lester. Connor's smile faltered and his excitement died in an instant.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in confusion. "Not that I don't appreciate you being here, but I wasn't expecting you. Not that it's a bad thing you're here. Just unexpected. Li-"

"I work here, idiot." Lester snapped from where he sat on a clear spot of Lauren's desk. He turned his head back to the Mac book Pro he was so interested in. Jess found it funny considering Lester couldn't even find the internet browser icon on the desktop without looking at the screen for five minutes.

Abby took a step forwards, venturing deeper into Lauren's territory. She expected the overly cheery woman to bounce out from under her desk, or off the ceiling fan, or something!

"Connor meant," she said calmly. "Why are you in this room? Where's Lauren?"

Lester wrinkled his nose in confusion.

"Whose Lauren? Wait, is that her name?" He looked up in thought before looking back at the team. "Short, blond, enthusiastic, American, a fountain of speech?"

"That's the one," Becker commented and everyone nodded in agreement.

"Hm, yes. She was yelling at me last week about _hugging_?" Lester raised an eyebrow. "It was right out of the blue. She just stormed in without telling me her name, ranted for a good fifteen minutes without letting me talk, and stormed back out. That's when she tripped on her broken heel and sprained her ankle."

"Uh huh," Connor bobbed his head. "That doesn't explain why she isn't here today. Wasn't that like- last week?"

Lester tapped away on his laptop and cursed under his breath when a ad for lipstick popped up.

"She refused to come out of the hospital." He said without looking up.

"The hospital?" Matt wasn't at all surprised at what Lester said next.

"She threw quite a fit over the sprain." The civil servant explained while he exited the popup. "She was rolling around the front of my office and down into the main operations room. When I reached her she was delirious. From a sprain. Strange woman. The medic offered her an ice pack but she declined and forced him to call an ambulance. What. A. Nightmare." Lester's eyes were glued to the screen and his forehead wrinkled in frustration as he opened and closed a few windows.

Jess broke the awkward silence.

"So...she was in the hospital for a week and counting...because of a sprain?"

Lester clicked on the space bar furiously.

"To sum it up in a nut shell, yes." he sighed.

"O-kay..." Connor extended each syllable. While Lester was burning holes into the laptop screen Connor turned to the team and made the cuckoo sign. He turned back to Lester. "So no therapy today?" He asked hopefully.

This time Lester looked up with an almost amused look on his face. "She was your therapist? Oh my." he smirked. "Now _I _thought she was an escapee from the local asylum. The woman insisted that the session had to go on, but since we couldn't fit her bed through the hospital doors..." Lester clicked something on the laptop and turned the screen towards them. "We made a compromise to do this."

The team fell once again silent as they looked at the black screen. Lester was over joyed that they were completely quiet for more than ten seconds twice in the last ten minutes. No bickering, no smart remarks. Therapy must have done _something_ to them.

Jess yelped and grabbed onto Matt's sleeve when Lauren's face appeared. She was grinning like her usual chipper self.

"Hi guys!" She waved enthusiastically. Jess waved back with a little less enthusiasm. "Hi Becker!" If possible her grin widened.

"Well, I'd better be off now," Lester whispered. "Have fun," He added dryly and slipped out of the room quickly.

"Was that Mr. Lester?" Lauren asked and squinted. "I talked with him last week about his behavior. I noticed his negative aura when I stepped into his office. Maybe _he_ would benefit more from team building." She pondered aloud. Connor thought that was the most brilliant idea that came out of her mouth.

"How's the hospital, Lauren?" Matt asked politely, his face expressionless as usual. Lauren's grin broke slightly.

"The food tastes like feet. Speaking of feet, my ankle is starting to feel better! I should be back by next week. Isn't that great!" She rambled on. "But since I'm not here today, I have a few special assignments for you guys! Things that are fun in a relaxing way!" Lauren's head ducked out of the screen and the sound of shuffling papers could be heard. Connor took this chance to make a break towards the door. Lauren's head popped back up and Connor dove for the floor in hopes she couldn't see him.

"Connor? What are you doing?" She asked quizically.

"Uh, well..." Connor stuttered. "Becker tripped me!"

"Becker!" Lauren screeched, oblivious to the fact Connor was no where near Becker. "Every time you hurt Connor physically, you are hurting him emotionally and mentally! You are scarring a part of his life! We don't want Connor to be more self conscious than he already is!"

Connor bit back a cry of protest and flashed Becker a smug smile as he got up.

Lauren shook her head like a disappointed mother. "What will we do with you," She said to no one in particular. "Anyways," Lauren withdrew her signature red crayon and circled something on the page. "Today, you will be creating your very own... imaginary friend!" She beamed as if it were the greatest thing in the world. "I have an imaginary friend. My unicorn! Rainbow Sprinkles Supreme! Yours can be a person, an animal, a mythical creature..." she ticked them off with her fingers.

If this is what Lauren considered 'fun' there was a serious problem with her.

"Paper's on my desk. Create your imaginary friend and draw him slash her slash it. I'll be waiting patiently." Lauren folded her hands together and smiled at them stalkerishly. It seemed to be directed more at Becker.

Jess wandered over to Lauren's desk and picked up five sheets of white paper and an equal amount of pens. After handing the supplies out she sat on the floor and thought of something to draw. Thinking rationally, if they did what they were told, it would make less of a issue to deal with. She started drawing.

Matt thought this was insane. For one, therapy with a woman that needed a strait jacket. Two, drawing imaginary friends in team bonding therapy. He didn't see a connection between the two.

Connor recalled his imaginary friend when he was six. The good _simple_ times. He decided to draw him. It would satisfy Lauren and bring back old memories.

Abby felt the need to strangle Lauren. She wasn't even in the same room as them and they had to do something utterly stupid. Beside her, Connor was scribbling away on his sheet of paper the form of a body developing on his page. She rolled her eyes at the fact her boyfriend was performing such a childish antic.

Becker was 26 and he was being told to draw his imaginary friend. What was the point of imaginary friends? They were imaginary and only proved how lonely you were. The concept was practically talking to yourself. He leaned against the wall and looked at his blank paper. An idea formed in his brain. Yes, he would create an imaginary friend. Someone...something that would love to meet Rainbow Sprinkles Supreme.

An hour later Lauren spoke up, breaking the silence that extended for so long it would have made Lester cry in joy.

"Let's see those imaginary friends. Rainbow Sprinkles Supreme is waiting," She sang. "We'll go in a circle. Jess!"

Jess held up her sheet of paper shyly. It was a well drawn picture of a woman holding about five shopping bags.

"Um, my imaginary friend's name is Marcie. She's a shopaholic. We, uh, relate."

Lauren clapped her hands.

"Amazing, Jess! Very creative and detailed! A+!"

"We're getting graded?" Becker asked in a low enough voice so Lauren couldn't hear.

"Apparently," Abby said just as Lauren called her name. She hadn't drawn or thought up of an imaginary friend yet. Her hour was spent staring out the window, day dreaming of the moment they would finally leave for the day. Abby quickly thought up of a lie.

"My imaginary friend is a ghost. Named Caspar," She said. "Like the cartoon. See?" She held up her blank page.

Lauren's eyes widened. "Oh yes, I see him!" she stared at the paper while the guys snickered. "A+!" This statement made them laugh harder.

Connor wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and looked down at his masterpiece. It was exactly how he pictured his imaginary friend back when he was a kid, though a bit older now to match their age.

"This is my friend, Garrett." Connor announced proudly and held up his paper for all to see. He felt like he was in kindergarten again.

"He actually did it," Matt commented.

"Fantastic, Connor!" Lauren praised and she squealed in excitement. "A+!"

"I think she just likes giving out A+s." Jess said to Abby.

"Probably,"

"Matty Matt Matthew!" Lauren sang and Matt grimaced slightly. He had also drew nothing so he did the next best thing. Matt scribbled a circle and added five straight lines to conjure up a crude stick figure. Ignoring the amused look from Becker he showed it to Lauren.

"This is my imaginary friend..." Matt said the first name that came to mind. "Gideon."

Lauren looked blankly at the stick man. Then her eyes gleamed maniacally. "How did you know I am an appreciator of stick art?" Matt opened his mouth to respond but she continued on, cutting him off. "I love it! From the circular head to the crooked smile, it's full of meaning! A+!" Lauren's eyes changed from pure lunacy to a dreamy state when she looked at Becker. Matt smirked at him.

Jess rolled her eyes and looked away from the laptop screen.

Becker had the inspiration from the loving looks he received in the past hour to create his imaginary friend. As creepy as it was having Lauren stare at him he managed to complete it efficiently. One thing he had to accomplish by the end of today, was to get Lauren off his back. Becker held up his drawing of a charcoal black wolf.

"This is my imaginary friend... Matt." He made sure to return the smirk as it was the polite thing to do. Matt glared back. "There is no relation what so ever to Matthew Anderson. None. Matt likes eating unicorns . He drains their blood before tearing them apart and devouring their intestines." Lauren gasped loudly and clasped a hand over her mouth. "Everywhere he goes a cloud of darkness follows, killing everything in it's path. A real downer, really."

Lauren's loving gaze turned into a look of shock. "That's- that's horrible! How can such thing exist?"

Had she already forgotten they were _imaginary_ friends? Apparently so. Becker decided that if he wanted Lauren to stop stalking him, he would just have to go with the flow.

Abby just leaned back against the wall and buried her head in her arms. Would it kill them to have one session without mentioning unicorns? She peeked through her platinum blond hair to see Becker talking to Lauren using hand gestures. Each time he said something she looked more nauseated and closer to hysterics.

"Matt's one of a kind. I think he resides in the same forest as Rainbow Speckles-"

"Sprinkles." Jess piped up.

"Sprinkles," Becker corrected himself. "Supreme."

From off screen they heard a heart monitor beeping rapidly. Why- how she managed to convince the hospital staff to hook her up with one would remain a mystery.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no!" Her eyes were wide and frantic. No one seemed to be coming to her aid.

An idea came at Abby head on. She scrambled up to the laptop so she was in the view and pretended to look concerned.

"Lauren? Something's wrong with the laptop." She said even though Lauren was busy hyperventilating and probably too busy to listen. Behind her back Abby made a gun with her hand and mimed shooting in the direction of the laptop. Hoping Becker got the message she moved her head aside nonchalantly. "It might turn off anytime no-" A loud bang and ringing in her left ear made her regret being so close to the Mac. There was a clean hole in the center of the screen where Lauren's fore head once was. The laptop sparked and the screen turned black in an instant.

Jess was pressed back in the corner of the room looking at the sizzling laptop in shock. Connor squeaked and clambered backwards into a wall. Matt just sat there in a surprised silence. Becker stood a few feet away from his target, smiling.

"I finally got to shoot her." He mused and returned his beloved SIG back to it's holster. "I knew it was a good day to bring my gun to work." In reality it was in case Lauren tried to pull a stunt on him again. Becker threw his sheet of paper which was formed into an paper airplane into the air. It soared over the teams heads and landed on Lauren's desk. Becker was sure she would hate him enough to bring things back to normality. Especially when she found his assignment.

Matt stood up and closed the broken laptop screen. Lester wouldn't be too happy with that, but it was worth getting out of virtual therapy.

"I guess todays session's dismissed." He shrugged and walked past Becker and into the hallway where a few technicians had gathered to see what was going on. Upon seeing Matt emerge from Conference Room A they rolled their eyes and headed back to work.

Jess got up shakily and followed the remaining members of the team out. She wondered if they would ever make it through a whole day, not that she would want to.

"So," Matt asked, glancing at his wrist watch before looking back at his team. "Whose up for Chinese?"


	6. Day Five: Awkward Turtle

Connor peeked around the door frame to pull his head back in swiftly. She was still there. Abby paced back and forth in front of him giving the young man occasional side glances of amusement. Jess on the other hand was twiddling her thumbs nervously, wondering for the third time why they were cooped up in a storage closet when the Conference Room was just down the hall.

"She's trying to unlock the door, though the key is upside down," he noted. Connor leaned against the wall and glanced at the hall way intersection where people were walking by. Then he saw Becker turn the corner. The soldier didn't notice Connor until he grabbed his leg and pulled him into the room.

Becker stumbled, but regained his balance quickly. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked Connor angrily.

"I just saved your life, mate." Connor replied and gestured for Becker to look out the door.

Becker looked down the hall and noticed Lauren. He quickly pulled himself back in. "Right, Lauren's there. That's not a surprise."

"Well if you want you can go." Connor said and grinned. "Your love of you-"

"Say another word and you won't be able to see for a week," Becker retorted and held up a fist.

"Well either way, we're going to hang here until she get's in. Spending unnecessary time with Lauren isn't exactly fun for the rest of us." Connor said and received a cuff to the head. "Ouch, getting defensive?"

At this point Becker just gave up with Connor. He decided staying in the storage closet would be much safer than going out into the hall. Especially with Lauren's latest obsession...him. Becker felt a vibration in his pocket and withdrew his mobile.

"How did she get my number?" Becker looked expectantly at Connor.

"I swear I didn't do it," Connor held up his hands in a calming gesture. He nodded towards the phone. "You gonna answer that?"

"No, you are." Becker tossed the phone towards Connor. "Tell her she has the wrong number." Connor caught the phone between his palms and looked down at it. Again he had two options. One, do as Becker says and get on his better side or two, make Lauren's dreams come true and set them up on a date. He answered the phone.

"Hello?"

_"Connor? I thought this was Becker's phone number." _

Connor glanced up at Becker who was mouthing the words 'wrong number'.

"Sorry, Lauren. Wrong number I guess. How did you get it anyways?" Connor couldn't help but ask. He knew if she wasn't smart enough to open a door, that she wasn't smart enough to hack a government system.

Abby and Jess watched as Connor nodded and his mouth formed a 'o' at Laurens inaudible answer.

"Oh, wow. That's... somethin. Yeah, I won't tell... I can give you his number if you'd like. I think I know it." Becker mimed shooting Connor's head but the other man just continued talking. "Yeah. It's...-."

Jess had two different thoughts and emotions about the situation Becker was in. She felt like laughing at the fact he had a stalker. Not to mention his stalker was Lauren. She also felt a small pang of jealousy. What was there to be jealous of Lauren? Well Lauren did get to kiss him...

"Got it...? I'll repeat it again...Good...Uh huh...Oh, yeah... We're running a bit late. Hm...? Yeah. The lift was down so we had to take the stairs. Silly us, we didn't remember there was a stair well just around the corner... Oh," Connor feinted a surprised tone. "Key's not working, eh? Hope it does, we'll be there in a minute, 'kay...? Bye, Lauren." Connor twirled the phone in his hand before slapping it in Becker's palm with a grin. "Done."

"Did you just make that number up?" Jess dared to ask. Becker didn't look murderous so it wasn't his office land line or home phone.

Connor grinned. "Nope. It was-"

The sound of an unfamiliar ringtone cut him off. Ever so slowly Connor turned his head up. His gaze met Lester's cold one.

"Oh! Lester, I-uh didn't see you there," Connor spluttered out as realization dawned on the rest of the team.

Lester took out his phone from his jacket and looked at the screen. "Whose Lauren? Hold on, isn't she your therapist? How the hell did she get my phone number?"

"I dunno," Connor shrugged and looked at his boss innocently. Lester scowled and rejected the call.

"Before I regret this; may I ask, why all of you are in a storage closet?" Lester raised an eyebrow at the male to female ratio.

"It's not like that!" Jess exclaimed. "We're just..."

"Just...?"

Jess fumbled for words.

"Hiding," Connor answered for her. He quickly altered the topic. "Didn't you see her? She's just down the hall,"

"I was walking to my office then noticed you four. Well only Connor since he was the only one in view. I didn't look down the hall," Lester stated then leaned back to get a look. A mistake he would regret for the next month.

"James!" Abby cringed at the squeal Lauren let out and the sound of charging high heels. She noticed Becker tense and could tell he was debating to or to not shove Lester out of the door way and attempt to escape.

The petit blond showed up at the door way and grinned up at Lester. "Don't worry!" She exclaimed at his fearful expression. "I forgive you, and guess what? I found a cure to your negativity!" She threw her arms up and squealed with joy. "You are joining our therapy group!"

Lester went pale and he took a step back into his comfort zone. "Shouldn't I be in charge of that, Ms. Seris?" he managed to ask. Connor broke out laughing and had to use Abby to muffle his giggles. Jess just hid herself further into the room from Lester's wrath that was building up.

"No, no, no. I have the papers signed by _your_ boss! I had a chat about your behavior with that nice man. Mr. Burton." She bobbed her head, oblivious to Lester's oncoming rage.

"What? He? What?" Lester stuttered, he for once was at loss for words.

Lauren turned to the team. "Why are you all in here?" She asked and cocked her head. "No matter," Lauren said cutting herself off. "You must have a good reason. Let's start our session!" She pumped one fist in the air energetically and looped one arm through Lester's.

Lester swallowed a stream of curse words and tried regaining his composure as Lauren towed him towards Conference Room A (or as Connor and friends call it; Lauren's Den).

Matt just turned the corner to witness the end of this scene and before he could escape Lauren had spotted him.

"Matthew!" She called out and waved him over. Matt didn't have much of a choice but to follow after her and a stunned Lester. Becker on the other hand was glad her attention was diverted towards Lester. Maybe she finally picked up that he had no feelings what so ever about her. That is until she turned around and winked at him.

Connor motioned for the rest of the team to fall back a few steps. When they were in line and far from hearing distance he began speaking. "I've got a plan, a brilliant one in fact."

"I don't want to hear it," Abby closed her eyes and tried walking faster to be pulled back.

"No, no, no. It's a good one. I swear. Nothing stupid." Connor said. "Ya know how Lester's being pulled into therapy with us, right? Well, he's going to have a taste of what we have to go through every week. Which is pure hell." They stopped walking as Lauren approached Conference Room A and fiddled with her key some more.

"I have paperwork to finish. I can't waste a precious day of wor-" Lester complained but was rudely cut off by Lauren.

She made a shooing motion with her hand. "Paperwork can wait, James. Your-" She gestured to him with her hands. "negative aura surpasses Becker's which is unbelievable! We have to fix that right away!"

"It's Lester to you Ms. Seris," Lester stated bluntly.

"We're on first name basis here and your name isn't as bad as Becker's. Oh, and it's Lauren to you," She nodded to him and continued with the lock.

"isn't _as bad_?" Lester folded his arms.

"Anyways," Connor continued on quietly. "He's going to get fed up with her, I know it. Eventually he'll reach his Lauren limit and kick her out of the building by cancelling therapy sessions. So all _we_ have to do is force Lester every Wednesday to show up. Oh, and unless you want to spend a full day with Lauren each week, think of excuses to get us to ditch. Use your noggin." He tapped his own head and nodded.

"Wow, now I thought you used your brain for storing junk." Becker commented.

With Lester's low tolerance for annoyingly bright people like Lauren, Abby knew it wouldn't be long until they were free from the Wednesday horror.

"Connor, that's actually a good idea." Matt looked surprised.

"Thank you, Matt." Connor beamed and shot Becker a smug smile.

They approached Lester and Lauren as the government official began speaking.

"The key is backwards," Lester stated dryly. His tone was a mixture of annoyance and amusement. Lauren blinked and patted his arm before correctly opening the door. Lester just scowled and was pulled into the room. Matt led the rest of the team inside and Abby closed the door.

"Today, we will be working on overcoming _awkwardness._" Lauren announced and sat behind her desk. _"_The rules are simple. Each person will take turns taking a step closer to the other until you are almost or are touching. I tried this with my D.C group and I say it went fairly well. "

Lester scowled at the insane glint in her eye. He didn't need therapy. Why would he, Sir James Lester the government bureaucrat, need to bond with the team? Lester spent his days in a air conditioned office doing most of the written work while the team did the leg work. He didn't need to bond with them. The therapist was a whole new issue. He hadn't actually read her files (which mentioned the scissor petition and negative statements from the D.C group) only the section where it noted that she worked with a group of federal agents in Washington. Now that he thought about it, he regretted not reading her file fully. Now he was stuck with a woman that was barely any smarter than a fruit fly and his idiotic employees he preferred to be away from. Lovely.

Lauren clapped her hands loudly attracting everyone's attention. "Since James has joined our group I won't be participating."

Connor let out a whoop of joy and tried masking it with a cough. Becker let out a sigh of relief as there was now _no chance_ he would be up close and personal with Lauren.

"Now the pairs this week will be." She poked her tongue out in concentration as she stared at the group. Lester dully examining a barely noticeable scuff on his shoe, Becker looking at the ceiling for a ventilation shaft, Abby rolling her shoulders in an attempt to relieve some stress, Jess shifting from one heel (shorter than her usuals) to the other, Connor humming a tune softly, and Matt looking out the window.

"Matt and Abby. Connor and Lester. Becker and Jess! Go, go, go!" She blew a whistle sharply that she seemed to pull out of thin air.

Matt usually got along fine with Abby, but their friendly relationship might just be ruined by this simple activity. It made more sense that this task would not help overcome awkwardness, but promote it even further.

Lester grumbled under his breath and looked menacingly at the twit that was his partner. Connor in return looked like a deer caught in the headlights. If there was anyone more scarier than Becker, it was Lester. The one that had the power to fire him. The one that had the power to fire him for invading his personal space.

Jess felt her heartbeat increase and she felt light headed. How lucky was she? No, no, no! How unlucky was she? After this she wouldn't be able to look Becker in the eye properly.

* * *

"You first," Abby offered and felt extremely uncomfortable with the task. Maybe if it were Danny or Nick it would have been less strange. She'd known them longer and with Matt she hardly knew anything other than his name and his love for plants.

Matt wasn't one to be awkward around other people, but he did cherish his personal space. He didn't get paid enough for this.

"Come on! Let's get started!" Lauren enthused and encouraged everyone to begin.

Matt took an uneasy step towards Abby and noticed Connor's death glare. He nodded towards him apologetically and the glare softened. Abby in turn took a step closer to Matt. They repeated this process until they were touching.

"Okay... What now?" Matt whispered. Abby felt his breath against her cheek and suppressed the urge to move away.

"I think we wait until everyone's done," Abby replied just as quiet. The both looked at the other pairs whom have not started. Jess and Becker looked mighty uncomfortable and Connor and Lester looked like mouse and cat. It was going to be a while.

"Right," Matt said and shifted slightly. His arm brushed against Abby's and she reactively kneed him in a very sensitive spot.

* * *

Connor wished he would just melt into the floor. Lester looked more irritated than embarrassed. "Let's get this over with _Connor_." he glanced at Lauren whom gave him a double thumbs up.

"O-o-ok-kay." Connor stuttered and took a small step forwards. Lester in return took a reasonable sized step towards the younger man. Connor wondered how Abby was doing. He craned his head and saw her repeatedly apologizing to Matt who was on one knee. From personal experiences he would have guessed that the team leader was kicked quite hard in the groin.

While Connor was approaching carefully like a scared rabbit, Lester was thinking about the amount of paperwork to un-employ Lauren. Eventually they were so close, Lester could hear Connor's rapid heart beats.

"Would this be a bad time to ask for a pay rise?" Connor asked meekly.

"Yes, very." Lester responded.

* * *

Becker looked over Jess' shoulder towards Lauren's desk. She was on her laptop, typing away. The blond noticed him and made a heart with her hands. He looked back at Jess.

"Ready?" He asked and she nodded shyly. Jess felt her heart flutter as he advanced towards her. She scolded herself mentally for acting like such a school girl. But it was Becker...

Becker noticed Lauren's usual expression falter slightly the closer he got to Jess. He guessed she regretted partnering them up. Lauren watched them like a hawk, she didn't even notice Matt on the ground, or Connor on the verge of passing out due to fear.

Soon Jess was right in front of him. She felt herself blush slightly and dipped her head to avoid having to look at him. Becker on the other hand was resisting the urge to step back. Then an idea hit him. It would keep Lauren from showing her affection to him, at least during their therapy sessions which was good enough for him. The only down side was that it would make working with Jess more uneasy.

"Jess," he whispered so quietly that it was barely audible. Jess looked up at his brown eyes and hoped she wasn't blushing again. "This doesn't mean anything and I apologize in advance."

Before she could muster a 'what?' he leaned down and kissed her. Jess was 100% sure she was blushing now. All she could think about was that he- Becker- was kissing her. At that moment Jess didn't care whether it meant anything or not, she kissed back.

Lauren stood up abruptly causing her chair to roll back into the wall. Becker broke the kiss as Lauren ran past them and out the door in hysterics.

Connor wolf whistled and leaped away from Lester. "Wow." he commented and waggled his eyebrows.

"I did tell Lauren that I didn't like her," Becker shrugged. "Thanks Jess, for the help."

Jess nodded incoherently. "Uh huh," she said, still in a daze. Becker kissed her.

Matt winced and got up with the help of Abby. "Until next week." he said.

"Is this all supposed to be 'normal'?" Lester questioned distastefully. He was the only one that didn't know of Lauren's obsession over Becker. Lester was beginning to wonder if therapy was only making them stranger. Or was it the therapist influencing them?

Abby covered her mouth as she thought. "First week it was a anomaly alert, second week we got let off early," Lester made a noise of approval. "Third week session was cut short due to Matt being away." Lester raised an eyebrow at Matt whom shrugged.

"My niece was in the hospital." he explained.

"You don't have a niece."

"Fourth week," Abby continued. "Your laptop shortaged out."

Lester scoffed. "My laptop had a bullet through the cover. Do you know how much that cost?"

Abby ignored Lester's remark. "And today, Becker broke her fragile little heart." Though it sounded sad, no one really cared. It was Lauren. She was going to bounce right back to her normal self within the time frame of twenty minutes.

"Hey guys," Connor called out. They looked over to find him situated at Lauren's desk. He glanced up and grinned. "Check this out,"

"I don't want to get involved." Lester held up his hands and walked towards the door. "Unlike you, I have a job to do."

"Suit yourself," Connor shouted as he left. "Party pooper," he snickered and waved the rest of the team over.

The wall paper of her desk top was a picture of Lauren and a crudely drawn (and photo shopped) picture of what was presumably Rainbow Sprinkles Supreme, when in reality it was a picture of a horse with a party hat strapped to it's head. Connor rubbed his hands together excitedly.

"Let's see what we can do here,"

"You are such a child," Becker rolled his eyes and headed towards the door. "I have better things to do than mess with our therapist's laptop." he stated as he left.

"He asked for it," Connor opened up a window with Lauren's contacts. He inputted Becker's email, cell number, home number, office phone number, and address. Connor smiled proudly and left the window open as he stood up and stretched.

Matt smirked and shook his head. "Becker's not going to happy." he said.

"I repeat; he asked for it." Connor slid under the desk and bounced towards the door with a cheerful gait. He froze when he entered the hall.

Abby walked past him then realized what he was looking at. Lauren was trudging their way, her head down and hair blocking her vision.

Matt edged away in the opposite direction. "I think a good idea will be to run."

Connor didn't have to be told twice. He dashed down the hall faster than he ever ran before. He took a sharp right turn and continued running towards the main operations room which was a mistake because he collided head on with Becker. The Captain stumbled back as Connor righted himself. Becker's lecture was cut off by a sound from his phone confirming he had a text message. Jess quietly slipped towards the ADD as Matt headed to his lab and Abby slowly backed towards the menagerie.

Becker glared at Connor once before checking his mobile.

_I know where you live :) -Lauren_

* * *

**Awkward activity borrowed from the original story, Adventures in Therapy by Carlough. **

**Reviews keep me writing. I also ran out of therapy ideas so suggestions would be helpful.**


	7. Bonus Chapter: It's Friday

**~Kickin' in the front seat. Sittin' in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I take (wth)? It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend.~ Terrible song and auto tuning. Bet'cha Lauren's playing it over, and over, and over.**

**Just a little short chapter dedicated to Idiot 1 for suggesting it and being the best dust bunny evaar! **

**This time Matt gets it.**

**Becker's POV:**

Becker wandered down the halls of the ARC, eyes glued to his phone. He waved Connor off with one hand and shot him a glare for good measure. The last thing he needed to end a decent day at the ARC was that idiot bugging him. In the other hand Becker deleted yet another message from Lauren. 142 deleted, 34 more to go. He wondered if it was possible for his thumb to go numb.

Since Wednesday Becker had been receiving calls, texts, emails, letters etcetera non stop from her. It was driving him down right crazy considering -unlike Lauren- he had actual work to do. Of course that twit would give Lauren his work number, the cell phone he wasn't supposed to turn off. Well, even if there was an anomaly alert, Becker would be too spammed with text messages and calls to notice.

At least Becker had a ARC free weekend to look forwards too, he can take work off of his list of problems... temporarily. He stuffed his hands into his jacket pocket as he stepped out of the lift and into the ARC's underground car park. The drive home was quiet, as he had tossed his mobile into the trunk and even so Becker could hear the faint sound of his generic ring tone.

He didn't take notice of the small, red, Smart car parked across from his building.

Becker fished his keys from his pocket and opened the door to his flat. It was relatively neat as usual and better yet, Lauren free. Becker sighed contently and dropped his ringing phone on his kitchen counter and glanced at the caller ID._ Lauren._ If the team needed him, they could call his home number. Becker was about to turn off his mobile when he noticed Lauren's most recent messages.

___**12 seconds ago: **_Becker! Being with Jess won't stop be from admiring you! I have photos. -Lauren

**_8 seconds ago: _**_Are you there, Becker? -Lauren._

_**2 seconds ago: **__Oh you are! I saw your car. Look outside! -Lauren_

Reluctantly, Becker walked towards the large glass window in his living room. His flat was located on the exterior end of the front of the building so he had a nice view of the complex across from his, a corner of the parking lot where his car was, the almost deserted street, and Lauren standing next to her Smart car. She noticed him and waved excitedly, grinning, before looking down at her phone, thumbs flying at an insane speed. Two seconds after Becker was spotted, he received a text message.

_**4 seconds ago:** I see you! -Lauren_

He took a step aside, out of view, and banged his head against the wall not so gently. Becker didn't even notice Lauren had resumed spamming, he was too busy wondering how he could get her as far as possible from him. He knew he wouldn't be able to leave the building in peace until she was gone from her current position. Becker tossed his mobile onto his sofa before picking up his home phone and dialing Connor's mobile.

_"Hello?" _

"It's Becker."

_"Captain Becker. Calling me. Connor Temple. Now I know the world is ending." _Becker rolled his eyes.

"You got me into this mess, you are going to help me get out of it."

_"What'cha talkin about?" _Connor asked.

Becker took a deep breath. "Lauren is stalking me thanks to you. It went from calls and text messages to standing across the street watching my flat from her car. Scratch the first bit, she's still texting me."

Connor started laughing uncontrollably.

_"You...She..." _He broke out into laughter again._"Stalking...You!" _Suddenly Becker heard Abby's distant voice in the background. Connor suddenly stopped laughing and shut up. _"...Nothing's wrong, Abs. Just thought of something funny... Yeah, I'm fine... Tell Jess there's nothin' to worry 'bout...Kay..."_

"Are you going to help me, or would you rather be EMDed?"

_"As much as I would looove-" _He drew out the word. _"-to, I can't. Jess and Abby are watching some chick flick together and I can't get passed them without being seen. You know how they worry about you. Well, mostly Jess... Sorry, mate. Try Matt,"_

Becker scoffed. "Matt Anderson?"

_"Yeah, I said try. He's qualified to lead the team, he can probably get rid of your...stalker," _Connor must had covered his mouth with his hand because his laughter was slightly muffled but heard. _"Our therapist." _He couldn't control it and started laughing hard. Becker hung up on the half wit and peered out the window. Lauren was now in her car, looking down at presumably her phone.

He ran a hand through his hair and reluctantly dialed Matt's cell number. Becker waited impatiently as the phone rang once, twice, until someone picked up.

_"Matthew Anderson speaking."_

"Matt." Becker replied simply.

_"Becker? Not to be rude, but why are you calling me?" _He sounded surprised. Not that Becker could blame him. A personal phone call to Matt was just as likely as winning the lottery.

"Why, do you have better things to do?" Becker asked dryly as he paced around his flat.

_"Just cleaning up a bit." _

"On a Friday night?"

_"What are you doing calling me on a Friday night?" _

"Asking you for help." Becker winced at his answer. Asking Matt for help. Different. Weird.

_"With?"_

"Lauren."

Matt sounded amused. _"So you're actually interested in the mentalist types?"_

"No!" Becker said, exasperated. "Thanks to Temple she's camped out in front of my building."

As expected, Matt laughed. _"Good luck with that, Becker."_

"You're going to help me."

_"Now why would I do that?"_

"Because we're friends and that's what friends do?"

_"That's not going to work, Becker."_

"Thought so. Come on, Anderson."

Matt hesitated for a moment. _"Alright, fine, but you owe me. I'll talk to her."_

"How good are you at lying, Matt?"

_"Very good, though it depends on the situation." _

"Good, hurry up." Becker hung up and paced, away from Lauren's view. He picked up his mobile and looked at the screen.

_**1 minute ago: **Where are you? :( -Lauren_

**_Twenty seconds ago: _**_Becker! -Lauren_

The last message was officially number 450 and Becker swore he would kill Connor the next time he saw him. He stealthily peered out the window again and saw a black car pull up behind Lauren's. The driver hesitated for a minute before stepping out. From the sound of his mobile buzzing frantically, Lauren was probably too busy to notice the Irish man approach her car. Matt casually walked past Lauren, purposefully close to her car. The blond practically jumped out of her car when she noticed Matt and threw herself at him with a bone crushing hug.

Lauren said something at an inhumanly speed. Matt responded and shrugged, holding out a rolled up slip of paper. Lauren tilted her head slightly and said something. Matt responded and Lauren nodded eagerly then looked at him understandingly. Matt took a step back and shook his head, making gestures as though he were explaining something. Lauren grasped his hands, nodding even harder before patting his fore arm and getting in her car. As she drove away Matt turned around and looked up at Becker, his expression un readable.

A few minutes later Becker heard knocking on his door. As Becker opened the door Matt walked in. "Good news, Becker. She's gone." He announced and fixed his jacket cuffs, eyes wandering.

"The bad news? You hesitated, there's bad news." Becker asked and crossed his arms.

Matt stuck his hands in his pockets. "Bad news is, she thinks I'm gay." He sighed irritably and Becker raised an eyebrow in amusement. Then realization dawned on him.

"I'm not-"

Matt shrugged. "Lucky for you, that stunt with Jess made you officially straight."

Becker sighed in relief and smirked at Matt.

"I told her I was going to give you your new schedule but she said your schedule hadn't changed since last May." He raised an eyebrow. "It's not like I would know that, I'm not your stalker. And being Lauren she jumped to the conclusion that I made up an excuse to see you. She left saying she understood. You know, this is the last time I'm helping you with anything, Becker." Matt muttered.

Becker laughed at his boss' predicament and for a minute his was forgotten. "Blame Temple, he's the origin of the problem. Thanks anyways though." Matt turned around, shaking his head as he headed to the door. He opened it just as Connor knocked, missing the door and nearly hitting Matt in the face.

"Sorry, Matt. I'm here to help," Connor announced breathlessly. "Escaping through the fire escape, not a brilliant idea." He wheezed and bent over. "Doesn't work out like the movies, and don't ask."

Matt just glared at the younger man and walked away. Connor shrugged his shoulders. "What's his problem?"

"Problem already solved, Lauren's gone." Becker said. "New problem, partially your fault."

"W-what is?" Connor squeaked before clearing his throat.

"She thinks Matt is gay."

Connor covered his mouth with both hands in a failed attempt to stop a burst of laughter. "With...You?"

"No," Becker slammed the door between them creating a barrier.

"Ow." He heard as the wooden door made impact with Connor's face. "I climbed down a fire escape in terror to get here. Do you know how high Jess' flat is? Now I have to go in through the front door. They think I'm napping in the room. Abby will kill me." Connor must had realized Becker wasn't going to answer as the sounds of his footsteps grew distant.

Walking back into his flat, wondering what to do, he noticed his phone silent for once in the past two days. Becker reached out and picked it up, nearly dropping it again as it vibrated signaling he had a text message. Lauren's psychic ability to sense his touch was somewhat disturbing.

**_6 seconds ago: _**_Did you kick Matt out? hehehe -Lauren_

_**3 seconds ago: **__Yes? _

**_2 seconds ago_: **_No? _

**_? seconds ago: _**_SPILL! -Lauren_


	8. Day Six: The Two Therapists

**I wondered before what would happen if vampireluvr15's Doctor Joseph Noir got involved with Lauren. Seeing as I love them both and they're both therapists... This is what I think would happen.**

* * *

Connor grinned at Abby. Abby glared back.

He bounced in front of her stopping the blonde in her tracks. "What's got you so moody?"

Abby crossed her arms and raised her head so he was looking into her eyes. "The fact that you lied to me on Friday."

His face fell and he stopped his on the spot bouncing. "But...I didn't lie to you."

"You said you climbed the fire escape to get to Becker's." She raised an eyebrow at him disbelievingly. "_Becker._" She walked around him and continued on towards Lauren's Den.

Connor pivoted on his heel and jogged up to her. "C'mon Abs, it's the truth. I know it sounds like something I would never do, but he needed help."

She spun around. "You're _scared_ of him, Connor, and I know you're squeamish about heights. Why would you climb out of a apartment building to _help_ him?" Abby sighed and put her hands on his shoulders reassuringly. "I forgive you. But you don't have to lie to me." She nodded and resumed walking again.

Connor threw his arms up in exasperation. "But I didn't lie!" Abby ignored his out burst and Connor didn't have a choice but to follow. They passed an intersection and Connor spotted Matt walking towards them. He lunged forwards and grabbed the other mans arm and pulled him towards Abby.

"Look, Matt can prove it! He was there! Right, Matt?" Connor looked at him hopefully to be stared down with a cold glare.

Matt almost backed up the younger man but the word 'gay' floated past his mind. He folded his arms and shook his head. "I don't recall having anything to do with Connor this weekend." He said calmly and went on by the couple. Abby laughed humorlessly and trailed after Matt. Connor looked wildly from his back to Abby before chasing after the two.

* * *

Becker dropped his phone into his desk drawer and locked it. He had spent a good portion of the morning deleting spam a.k.a Lauren's messages. It was apparent what happened on Friday didn't affect her at all.

He was surprised his phone wasn't on a continuous vibrate at the moment. It was all weekend and most of the past two days.

Becker decided he should be glad that he didn't have to deal with her text messages. He ran a hand through his hair and exited his office. Now he had to deal with her in person. Becker ignored the smirks from the group of soldiers patrolling the area and continued on to the dreaded room.

He happened upon Jess on the way there.

"Hi, Becker." She gave him a small smile as they walked together.

"Hello," Becker avoided any eye contact with her. Jess looked down at the floor as she walked. They had kept a good distance away from each other since last session.

She was glad she could help him, she really was. At least Lauren wouldn't be making eyes at him anymore. She sighed inwardly as they were joined by Matt, Connor, and Abby.

"I thought the first movie was the best," Connor nodded his head, his previous argument with Abby already forgotten. "Original idea, the rest just dragged the whole plot on and on and on."

"I liked the second one." Abby told him. "It's the one where they're in the desert, right?"

"No, that's the third."

Matt just shuffled along next to them, as if lost in his own thoughts.

"What are you guys talking about?" Jess asked curiously, causing him to snap his head upright and blink.

"They're talking about some sort of..." Matt made random hand gestures and shrugged. "-horror movie."

Connor beamed. "Resident Evil." he made a zombie imitation. "Not the game. " Connor added. "They'll eat your brains and devour your soul."

"Very interesting," Lester commented from where he stood in front of the conference room door. With the bickering the group didn't notice they had already arrived.

"Sorry, Lester." Connor laughed weakly and tried changing the subject. "We're a bit late, shouldn't we be -I don't know- going in? You know how Lauren is about lateness. 'It should be a federal crime.'" he said, impersonating her.

Lester looked at him humorlessly. "Well I'm here to inform you that Ms. Seris has her own things to attend to." He gestured to Lauren's Den.

Matt raised his eyebrows. "Like what?"

Lester shrugged and started towards his office. "What else would she be doing in that room?"

He readjusted his cuff links and set off with confident strides. Lester knew it the instant he met Lauren that she was dropped one too many times on the head and after his first session with her, he knew exactly what to do. He called up a therapist for Lauren. Lester could had simply hired that therapist for the team, but the man charged three times as much as Lauren and it would be a waste considering his employees usually found a way out half way before the day was over. Lester would rather save money than spend, so instead of hiring the man for a month of therapeutic sessions, he hired him for a day.

As Lester turned the corner Connor jumped towards the door. He pressed his ear against it and strained to listen, holding one finger up to keep everyone else quiet. He could hear two voices but the words were muffled. Most of the talking was done by Lauren, judging by the enthusiasm and higher pitch. The rest was done by a male whose voice was deep and quiet, barely audible through the thick door.

"Have you developed super sonic hearing, Temple?" Becker leaned against the wall, wondering whether he had somewhere better to be. Inventory. Which could wait.

Connor pushed off the door and spun towards the team. "Well?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well what?" Abby folded her arms.

"_Well_, aren't you guys curious as to what's going on in there?" he jerked a thumb over his shoulder towards the door.

Jess knew Connor had a plan in his mind. It would be either brilliant in a complex way, or stupid in a not so complex way.

"Did you hear anything?" Matt inquired and nodded towards the barrier between them and Lauren.

"Ah, no, but I'm planning to." Connor grinned mischievously and there was a boyish glint in his eyes. "You guys in?"

"It's either this or inventory." Becker shrugged and Connor automatically took that as a yes. He looked up at Matt expectantly.

"If it gets me out of writing last weeks reports," Matt said and sighed. He for one didn't believe that the one day they were _free_ from Lauren, they willing decide to watch her. Connor turned to the girls and gave them the best brown eyed puppy dog look he could muster. Abby broke first.

"We better not get caught, Conn," Abby said reluctantly but she knew the instant her eyes made contact with his, she was doomed.

"Alright. Who knows? It could be fun!" Jess smiled optimistically. Connor beamed and jumped up with excitement.

"That's the spirit! 'Kay anyone have any inputs?" he looked towards the door. "Considering the easy way isn't going to cut it."

"Why don't you pull a Danny?" Becker suggested sarcastically.

Connor's eye gleamed. "Brilliant! C'mon, Abs you're with me."

Abby knew it would be pointless to argue with Connor when he was on a roll, besides, they traveled through the ventilation system once before. It wasn't that difficult.

"Keep your earpieces on, I'll get you the layout." Jess gave them a quick wave and headed towards the ADD.

"'Kay," Connor called out after her. He pivoted on his heel and pointed at Matt and Becker. "Watch the CCTV." Connor instructed. Feeling more authorized he bounced off with Abby in tow.

"Did Temple just give us an order?" Becker asked, mock incredulously as he watched Connor struggle with the ventilation lid. The geek rolled out an office chair and stood on it. He used his hands to remove the lid and climbed in with Abby on his tail.

"I think he did." Matt started towards the security room.

Becker let off the soldiers on duty and took a seat in front of the multiple screens. Matt sat in a chair next to him and scanned the screens until he found the one he was looking for. Lauren was sitting in her office chair in the center of the room and across from her, in a regular conference chair sat a man in a white lab coat. He had dark hair that seemed to go in all directions and wore black reading glasses. In his hands were a clip board and a ballpoint pen. He gave off the impression he was a scientist or a doctor of some sort.

"Jess, do you have access to CCTV?" Matt asked into his ear piece as he watched the screen. Lauren bobbed her head furiously and made wild hand gestures while talking quickly. The man leaned his head back to avoid being hit as he wrote something down.

_"Of course I do. Just hold on... There's Lauren...and another man. He doesn't work here, I'm fairly sure."_

"Okay, then who could he be?" Becker watched as the man spoke to Lauren, without looking up.

_"Not sure, but I'll find out."_

"We only have a visual. Connor, Abby, can you hear what they're saying?" Matt cupped his hand over his ear to hear Connor's whispering voice.

_"The man's too quiet, I can't hear him but I can hear Lauren fine. She said 'I don't see the problem with believing in unicorns'... Her words not mine, mate."_

_"There's a vent closer to him, Conn. Just move over. You stay here and listen to Lauren." _There was the sound of scuffling before Abby spoke again. _"Okay, he's telling her that unicorns are mythical creatures."_

Connor continued in suit. _"And Lauren says 'No they're not. They're real.' Oh boy, she's standing now."_

_"He's telling her to sit down."_

Becker exchanged curious looks with Matt before replying. "Jess? Any ideas?"

* * *

"I have a few but I'm not too sure. I'll look into it," Jess said and looked at the man in more detail. He had an ARC visitor badge meaning he had clearance to be there and he was writing down notes on everything Lauren said.

"Look into what?" Lester asked and Jess nearly jumped out of her seat. Her heart hammered against her chest as she rotated her chair to face Lester who had somehow sneaked up on her. Jess pretended to brush back her hair as she switched off her ear piece.

"Well, uhm...It's just that-" She stuttered and stood up, blocking his view as Lester tried looking at the screen. "I'm just checking something on the CCTV for Becker." Jess plastered a smile on her face and hoped it was enough to convince Lester to leave.

He just stepped around and glanced at the only CCTV link open. "Captain Becker wants you to check on Lauren? Out of all those blasted rumors here I would have never guessed that one to be true." He commented dryly.

"No!" Jess blushed immediately at the suddenness of her response and looked down at the floor. He raised an eyebrow at her expectantly. It was time to confess. "We're just wondering what's going on with Lauren." She said sheepishly.

"You're _spying_ on her?" Lester asked bluntly, arms folded.

"Well yes-no-kind of..." Jess flustered as she had not a clue what to say.

Lester sighed wearily and pointed at the screen to their mystery man. "That is Doctor Joseph Noir. He's a therapist. Rather than waste money and hire him for you lot, I've saved some and hired him for our beloved...Lauren." He furrowed his brow. "Does Temple have anything to do with this?"

Jess hesitated before opening her mouth.

"No, wait." Lester held up a hand and cut her off. "I don't want to know." He turned around and walked back towards his office. Once he was back at his desk and busy with his mount of paperwork did Jess switch back on her ear piece. She heard Becker's voice first among the others.

_"Parker, are you there?" _

"Yeah, I'm here Becker. Just figured out who our unknown man is," She said and situated herself back in her chair, spinning around to face the ADD. Jess watched the man stand up and shake Lauren's hand, who in return pumped his up and down.

_"Who is he?" _Matt asked.

"Doctor Joseph Noir the therapist." Jess stated as the man opened the door for Lauren and they both exited. "It's only noon, where are they going?" she wondered aloud.

_"Lunch, I think that's what she sai-." _Connor replied in a whisper before crying out.

"What just happened?" Jess spoke a moment too soon as she watched Connor fall out of the ceiling into the Conference room. Luckily, the doctor and Lauren had already left.

* * *

Abby sighed as she worked on opening the ventilation lid in front of her.

"Connor fell."

_"Yes, I saw that." _Jess laughed.

_"So did we," _Becker said, amused.

_"In my defense the lid wasn't screwed on properly." _Connor protested.

"That's why you don't put both arms on it while looking through." Abby replied. She worked the lid free and slid into the room, landing almost silently on one of the conference tables.

"Show off," Connor mumbled under his breath as Abby shot him a smug look. "Oh lookie here," he grinned and picked up the doctor's clip board.

_"Get some photo's Temple,"_ Becker said.

"Yeah, yeah." Connor replied absentmindedly as he flipped through page after page of handwritten notes. Abby peered over his shoulder and caught sight of the word 'unstable' being mentioned multiple times. She took out her phone and handed it to Connor who took a few pictures of each page.

_"Connor,"_ Jess' said quietly.

"Hold on a sec, Jess." Connor snapped a few more photo's.

_"Connor, this is important."_ Her voice was a bit louder, and sounded more worried. Connor squinted at the minuscule text at the bottom and tried to read it before giving up a few seconds later.

"Yeah?"

_"He's coming back." _Matt said for her.

Abby exchanged frantic glances with Connor. He mouthed 'hide' before darting behind the door. Abby skidded around Lauren's desk as she heard the squeaky hinges as the door was opened. She hid herself under the desk, cramming herself as far back as possible and held her breath as she heard the footsteps of presumably, Doctor Noir. He walked a few paces and it sounded like he picked up his clipboard. Abby breathed out silently in relief as she heard him walk back towards the door. When he stopped, her heart beat increased. It became more rapid as he approached Lauren's desk and she prayed that he wouldn't walk around it. But instead, he moved away some of Lauren's junk and placed the clip board there.

"I'll just leave it there until we get back," he mumbled to himself before exiting.

Abby cautiously poked her head around the desk when he left and noticed Connor standing frozen behind the door, now closed, terrified.

"That...was close," He finally said. Abby nodded her head in agreement.

_"He said 'we' which means with Lauren. He's voluntarily going out to lunch...with Lauren." _Becker added, the tone in his voice showing disbelief.

Abby carefully walked towards the door and opened it up a fraction. She peeked out and sighed in relief as there wasn't a single person in the hall. Abby waved Connor over and they exited, closing the door quietly before breaking into a run towards the CCTV room.

* * *

Matt watched the pair dash out and down the hall like the devil were chasing them. He figured they would come crashing through the door any minute. Beside him, Becker was copying the footage of Lauren and Dr. Noir on a disk. As expected, Connor appeared at the door frame, Abby next to him. Almost immediately after that Jess showed up.

"Here," Connor panted and gestured to Abby. "The photo's. Can you get them printed out so we can see 'em?" Abby took out her phone's memory chip and handed it to Jess.

She nodded, her gray eyes sparkling. "Yes, of course. I'll give them to you sometime this afternoon."

"Awesome. Operation Rainbow Destruction is complete," Connor grinned and pumped his fist in the air.

Becker leaned over to Matt. "It had a name?" He whispered.

"Apparently," Matt replied in the same hushed tone.

"That means we have free day of-" The anomaly alert blared, interrupting Abby.

"Spoken too soon." Matt stated and got up from his chair, stretching his legs. "Becker, get your men ready. Connor, Abby, you're with me. Jess-"

"Send the co-ordinates to your GPS, I got it, Matt." She smiled and headed back to the ADD.

"I'll meet you there," Becker nodded and jogged towards the armoury. Matt strode out of the room with Abby and Connor barely keeping up.

Another session avoided, another anomaly to deal with.

* * *

**Reviews inspire me to continue! **


	9. Bonus Chapter: Inceptionish

Joseph tapped on his steering wheel as he drove, every now and then glancing at the woman seated next to him. Lauren was smiling to herself while texting someone rapidly. He swallowed and tried focusing on the road, rather than her abnormal texting speeds. That wasn't the only abnormal thing about her.

He had spent a few hours talking with Lauren, and from what he had gathered, she was a bit on the tipping point. They were both therapists, which made understanding each other slightly easier. It was just understanding what she was saying that was quite difficult.

Joseph parked his car in an empty space and got out, not before placing his reading glasses in his pocket. They were okay when he was _reading_ but other than that they were a nuisance. Like Lauren.

The two walked into a small restaurant and sat down at a unoccupied table, Lauren still texting her mystery someone.

"Afternoon sir." The waiter nodded to Lauren. "Madam."

Joseph ordered a coffee for himself as he wasn't too hungry and Lauren got a salad.

As frustrating as it was trying to communicate with her, it was his job and he was getting paid to by a James Lester. Thank god it was for only one day.

"So..." He began as Lauren placed her phone back into her purse and looked up at him with gleaming eyes.

* * *

Becker tapped his pen rhythmically on his desk as he tried to block out the sound of his phone. Once again it was being spammed by Lauren's messages. He hadn't bothered to take it out but regretted it as it was crashing into the four metallic walls of the drawer violently. Due to the speed of each message, he couldn't even turn off the vibrating setting. It took a lot of self control to not throw the thing at the wall.

The anomaly mission had been fairly easy, as there weren't any creatures. Just the floating shards leading into a different time era. The usual. They had it sealed in a matter of seconds and he had just received a notification that it had just closed. Becker didn't see the point in writing a report on it, as there was nothing to say. He tapped his pen harder as he thought.

A knock on his door caused Becker to look up.

"Come in," Becker called out and dropped the writing utensil he was twirling absentmindedly in his hands. Jess opened the door and poked her head in timidly.

"Um, hi." She hoped it didn't sound as stupid as it felt. Jess smiled shyly to mask her embarrassment. "I've got the printouts of Doctor Noir's notes. Would you like to see? We're meeting up in the armory now."

Becker nodded. He wouldn't admit it in front of Connor but he was a tad bit curious as to this therapists' opinion on Lauren. "I'll be there in a minute." He finally said.

Jess smiled again this time more confidently before saying good bye and withdrawing her head back into the hall. Once the sound of her heels disappeared did Becker stand with a sigh. Reports could wait.

* * *

Joseph just nodded as she talked.

_Talk. Talk Pause. Nod. Talk. Talk. Talk. Pause. Nod. Talk..._

He had given up an hour ago trying to understand where she was going with it and apparently she wasn't going anywhere. As she went on about the dangers of safety scissors she played with a knife in her hand. What a strange woman.

He typed more notes into his Blackberry and thought. Joseph was only hired for one day, which meant he only had time to get a deeper understanding of the woman and type out a report. How they decide to correct her would be their problem. Joseph was glad he wasn't hired for a full course with her and pitied the one who would. No, he pitied those that were in _her_ course.

"Excuse me, Lauren, but aren't knives equally dangerous? Or more dangerous than scissor- er, safety scissors?" He interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

"What? Oh. No, no, no." The blonde shook her head and laid the knife back on the table to Joseph's satisfaction. "Scissors are everywhere and used by everyone! Knives are only used by those that can properly handle them." She said matter of factly and launched back into her rant on scissors.

"Ah," Was all Joseph could think of to say. He looked back down at his phone and inputed four words.

_Sicosnipophobia - fear of scissors_

* * *

Matt crossed his arms and leaned against the counter holding cases of EMDs, waiting for Jess to arrive with Becker. He sighed wearily as he listened in and out of the irrelevant conversation Connor and Abby were having.

If he had a choice he would be half way across town by now. He would have been talking to Gideon but sadly Matt was physically forced to attend the disclosed meeting. Connor should be proud that he managed to drag his boss down several halls without getting fired.

Jess skipped into the room holding a folder and everyone in the room shut up for a moment. Connor broke the silence by darting up to her.

"Hey, Jess. Can I see that for a moment?" He gave her his best puppy eyes. Instead of handing it over, Jess whacked him in the face lightly.

"Not going to work this time, Connor. We have to wait until Becker comes." Jess said sternly. Matt watched as Becker approached from behind her silently.

"Well I'm here,"

Jess jumped slightly and Matt hid a small smirk. "Oh, o-okay then we can start." She stammered and opened the folder clumsily. The young woman walked over to Matt and laid the papers on the table, smoothing the pages out.

Matt joined the team as they crowded around the counter, trying to read the doctor's handwriting.

_ in mythical creatures. a imaginary friend (that is a unicorn) she is convinced is real. Note the word imaginary. ? Suggestions: 1. Resignation of her current position. . Questions: How did she get a licence?..._

"Nothing we don't know," Abby said and Connor nodded in agreement.

"Well that was a complete waste of my time," Becker stated and headed towards the door.

"Not completely," Connor called out after him as he left. "Workoholic." He muttered under his breath.

Jess collected up the papers. "I'll shred these just in case." Matt nodded in approvement. She smiled and waved at the group before heading out. Matt turned to Connor and Abby and raised an eyebrow.

"Well," He said.

"Well what?" Connor replied with a confused expression. He clearly didn't realize they were still at the ARC and had a few more hours until their day of work was over.

"You have a job to do don't you? Do the words 'reports' and 'anomaly' ring a bell?" Matt folded his arms again and looked at the two expectantly.

"Talk to you later, Conn," Abby said hastily and made her escape.

"Oh, right. Sorry Matt. I'll- I'll get to that now." Connor flustered and rushed out the door.

Matt rolled his eyes and couldn't help but smile.

* * *

Once his Ferrari was cleared by the guards at the gate, they headed back into the ARC. Joseph wearily dragging himself behind Lauren as she talked. She was...something.

A man dressed in entirely black rounded the corner but when he saw Lauren, spun around. Judging by his attire, Joseph deduced he was one of the soldiers lingering around the...ARC? What did that even stand for? Lauren snapped out of her babbling state when she saw the man and her smile widened.

"Becker!" She launched herself at the poor man and forced him to take a step back to rebalance.

"Hello, Lauren." 'Becker' replied to her and looked very uncomfortable as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Joseph felt sorry for him but he politely stood aside and waited for Lauren to finish.

"I'm so sorry I had to cancel the session," She said once she had released him. "It's just that Mr. Lester and-"

Joseph then realized that this military man was in someway involved with Lauren's therapy sessions.

"Yes, I understand. Have fun." Becker rushed and strode past her before she could say anything. He approached Joseph and said something to him quietly.

"Good luck," Becker muttered and Joseph felt a slight pang of fear. Lauren ran back to him beaming.

"Let's continue!" She sang and spun in a circle. Before Joseph could think she grabbed his arm and dragged her into Conference Room A.

The door shut behind the two and a sign was visibly taped to the door, Connor's handwriting.

_Welcome to Lauren's Den where therapist have therapy...INCEPTION_


	10. Day Seven Part 1: Turd, Birds, and Rocks

**A/N: Update will be post poned. Stupid computer decided not to save the other half. Oh, modern technology.**

* * *

He was running. Fast. The halls passed by him in a blur and he struggled to keep from tripping over his feet.

Connor ducked under a leaning shelf and made a sharp right turn down an abandoned hallway. He didn't look back until he was halfway down the corridor. The moment he looked over his shoulder, a future predator leaped at him, arms outstretched, ready to take him down. Connor made the mistake of fully turning around, and he tripped backwards. He landed on his back and squeezed his eyes tightly shut as the predator dug it's hooves into his chest.

_Hooves?_

Connor opened his eyes and saw a majestic unicorn looming over him.

"W-w-what?" Connor stammered in pure confusion. The unicorn just snorted and stepped off of him. It moved obediently to the side, revealing Lauren. Connor scrambled back against the wall in terror. Why was he scared of Lauren? Maybe because of the homicidal look on her face.

Lauren was about to say something, when Lester danced by wearing five inch silver heels. Connor didn't know whether to laugh or scream at the random act. So he stayed silent.

Lauren didn't even glance at the civil servant. "Kill him!" She ordered to her unicorn, pointing an accusing finger towards Connor. _This_ time he laughed. He hadn't a clue why.

* * *

Connor sat upright as he woke, just as freezing cold water was splashed onto his face.

"What was that for?" He spluttered and shook his head, causing droplets to fly. Abby stood in front of him, holding a plastic bucket that once contained ice water.

"Sorry, Conn. You were asleep and it was almost time for...therapy." Abby replied, making a face at the last word..

Connor rubbed his face, trying to erase all traces of his dream. He wondered if it meant anything. Like Lauren wanting to kill him. Why would she want to kill him?

"Don't want to miss a day with Lauren," Connor finally said with fake cheer and got off the Rec room couch. He laughed dryly and sighed as they headed towards Lauren's Den. As usual the rest of the group stood waiting outside of the door, unsure whether they should go in or not. Becker and Matt seemed to be trying to persuade Jess to knock on the door for them.

Lester just scowled at his employee's cowardice and knocked loudly. These nitwits fought off prehistoric monsters yet they couldn't enter a room where a young woman awaited them? He admitted Lauren was a bit on the strange side but she was tolerable. More tolerable than Helen Cutter...or Christine Johnson. He shuddered at the thought of both women.

The door swung open almost immediately revealing Lauren sitting on her desk. Connor glanced at the back of the door, surprised to see there wasn't anything attached to it. How the door opened on it's own was a mystery.

"Hello, young grasshoppers!" Lauren sang and beckoned for them to come in.

"Hi..." Connor said but his greeting was cut off.

"I am _so_ _so _SO sorry we had to cancel last week!" She looked at them apologetically. "But to make up for it I have planned many outdoor activities for this week! First on my list is-" Lauren threw her arms in the air. "A scavenger hunt!" She shrieked in delight and clapped her hands.

The room went quiet. Someone coughed. Lester broke the silence.

"I'm not getting my suit dirty." He stated bluntly and crossed his arms. Expensive suits weren't meant to be worn for outdoor activity.

"Oh hush." Lauren ran out the room, dragging Lester behind her. The team followed reluctantly.

The sky was a dull grey. Rain clouds. Lester hoped it wouldn't rain, at least not while he was outside, umbrella-less.

Lauren skidded to a stop just at the edge of ARC property and stiffened. Her face fell for a moment when she saw the trees and mumbled something about the Sapling-Devil.

Jess looked at the back of her head in confusion and took a careful step behind Becker and Matt.

"Scavenger hunts are for children. You're not a child are you, Lauren?" Lester asked her dryly when she released him from her death grip. He smoothed out his suit and glared at her.

Lauren placed one hand gently over her heart. "Of course, I am James. On the inside." Lauren said and patted where she 'thought' his heart was. "And so are you."

She got a grumble in response.

Lauren turned from Lester to the team, hands on her hips and a determined expression across her face.

"Okay, my chipper chipmunks! You'll be in two teams the..." Lauren looked at the group thoughtfully. "... Unicorns and the Anti-Scissors." She smiled proudly. "Becker, you will be with Connor and James on the Unicorns. Matt, you will be with Abby and Jess on the Anti-Scissors."

Connor stared at Lauren in horror. He was placed on a team with _both_ Becker and Lester. It was last weeks night mare placed in reality.

Lauren handed Becker a sheet of paper and did the same to Matt.

She patted Matt's shoulder affectionately. "I know your group is a bit feminine, but it's alright Matt. You should get used to working with both females _and _attractive males." Lauren looked pointedly at Becker who in return looked the other way.

"Lauren, I'm not gay." Matt said but she didn't appear to be listening to him.

"READY! SET! GO!" Lauren shouted at the top of her lungs even though the team was less than four feet away from her. She then ran about fifteen feet away from the edge of the forestry before stopping, turning around and narrowing her eyes at the trees, and running further.

Connor winced and covered the ear closest to her mouth. "Ow...What's her problem?" He asked as the team split in two and walked their separate ways into the 'wilderness'. Connor glanced over his shoulder to see Lauren a very good distance away. She waved. He didn't.

"No. Idea." Becker replied and glanced at the list. It took him a minute or so to read her handwriting.

_Squirrel dung–Lester. Bird's egg-Connor. Rock the Shape of a Pebble–Becker._

Lester snatched the list from the captain and read over the items. He scowled in disgust. "Squirrel dung?" She was crazy. She was officially crazy.

"Aw, Becker you've got the easiest. Just find a ro-" Connor turned to Becker who was tossing a rock up and down.

"I'm done." He stated and slipped the rock in his pocket. "Now we need to find the squirrel feces and a bird's egg."

"We're so lucky Abby's not on our team." Connor said as he walked, looking up at the canopy of trees for a bird's nest. "She doesn't like nature out of it's place." He looked back in front of him just as he walked into a thick trunked tree. "Ow."

Lester thought about forcing one of the other two to find the squirrel dung but he had a eerie feeling Lauren was watching them. What was worse than picking up something that came out of a rodent's backside, was listening to Lauren rant. She could go on, and on, and on. Lester glanced around self consciously. She couldn't be watching them. She seemed to be terrified of the trees. Who was terrified of trees? Of course, the woman that was terrified of scissors. He rolled his eyes and looked at the ground for anything that resembled poo.

The three continued on silently into the forestry until Becker spoke up.

"There's your bird's nest, Temple." Becker elbowed Connor in the ribs and pointed out a clump of twigs resting in between two branches of a tree. 18 feet off the ground. Connor looked up and swallowed loudly.

"C-c-can't you do it, action man?" Connor stammered. " I-I'm a bit squeamish about heights." He admitted swallowed loudly.

"No. And don't try tricking me into it. Lauren doesn't appreciate manipulation." Becker smirked. Suddenly he had that strange feeling of being watched. Becker spun around and did a scan to find nothing abnormal. Strange.

"Just don't hurt yourself too much. You know how much paperwork I have to fill out if you so happen fall to your death." Lester said from where he stood, arms folded, a look of slight amusement crossing his face.

Connor gulped and approached the tree cautiously, as if it would pull itself from the ground and attack him with it's roots... He looked over his shoulder and received two unsupportive looks. Connor stepped forwards to jump back as he felt something gooey attach itself to the base of his shoe.

"Oh, gross." He exclaimed and poked a dark lump on his Vans with a stick. "Poop. Think ya need this Lester." He extended the hand holding the stick towards Lester. The civil servant shrouded back with a look of disgust before taking the stick off Connor.

"This leaves you." Becker said. "Climb the tree, Temple."

_"Connor,"_

Becker turned and looked for the owner of the distant voice, only to find more trees and dirt. He shrugged it off as his mind playing tricks on him and turned back to his team mates.

"Go on." Lester shoved Connor from behind with his free hand. Connor stumbled a bit before regaining his balance. He placed his arms on the lowest branch of the tree and hoisted himself up. One down, 15 more to go.

Slowly, and carefully, he made his way to the half way point of the tree where the nest was located.

"Yes," He grinned to himself and scooted along the branch towards the nest. Connor looked into the nest...to find nothing. "There's nothing in this one, guys." He shouted to his co workers and just then realized how high he was. "Oh my-" Becker's voice possibly stopped him from having a panic attack.

"There's another one a bit higher from where you are." He stated and pointed upwards. Connor looked in the direction he was pointing to and noticed another tweedy clump. At the top of the tree. Oh goodie.

Connor took a deep breath and prayed he wouldn't pass out because that would be bad. Very very bad. He climbed on higher, motivating himself with quotes from Star Wars. _The Force will be with you, always. Do or do not...there is no try. _

At last he reached the top. His muscles were sore and felt as though they were on fire. Connor took a moment to catch his breath before leaning over to glance in the nest. There was one small egg, almost completely hidden in dry leaves and twigs. Connor grinned widely. Bingo.

Down below, Lester rested his poop stick on a rock and brushed stray burrs off of his trousers. Slowly, nature was taking it's toll on his suit, and Lester wasn't appreciating nature at the moment. He sighed and looked up at Connor who was making his way down, twenty times slower than he was making his way up. There was a brown clump in the crook of his arm, the nest. That had been fairly easy.

Connor went down cautiously, placing one foot down at a time and testing the branch before placing the other. He made it to the half way point again when two angry bird parents attacked him. "Get away, I can't see!" Connor used both hands to whack at the birds pecking at his face, accidently dropping the nest. "No!"

Becker paced back and forth as he waited for Connor, only stopping when a brown clump fell in front of him. He quickly recognized it as a birds nest. Their ticket out. Ignoring Connor's cries, Becker carefully sifted through the twigs and found the egg, completely intact and unharmed.

Connor swatted at the birds without success. "I'm a social working. Yeah, that's right. That's what'cha get for leaving your baby unattended." He shouted. He didn't even notice Lauren crouching on a branch of equal level in the tree beside his until their eyes met.

"L-Lauren?" Connor asked in disbelief, for a moment forgetting about the birds attacking him.

She shushed him instantly. "Shhh! Don't tell the druids I'm here! Hiding in their trees. After what happened in college..." She looked off into the distance dramatically, lost in her own world for a moment before snapping back to reality. "... they never forgave me. And if they find me, they'll start the ritual early! It's not even the First of July yet" Lauren began fretting while Connor just stood there in awe and shock.

One of the birds pecked him dangerously close to the eye. That's when he lost his footing. The birds chirped in unison and flew off, satisfied. Connor flailed his arms trying to grab onto a tree branch, anything to stabilize himself.

Becker and Lester were engaged in a very vivid conversation below, completely forgetting that Connor was still in the tree being attacked by viscous birds.

"Sir, those 'rumours' you've heard are not true. They're rumours. ARC gossip." Becker argued.

Lester raised an eyebrow and folded his arms. He waved the poo stick at the Captain. "Are you sure about that, Captain Becker?"

"Yes I am fairly sure there is no 'Lauren and I'. No matter what she says."

"Actually I over heard it from Co-"

_Whump!_

Both men snapped their heads to the side to see Connor on his back, groaning. He mumbled something about Lauren and closed his eyes.

"That twit," Lester muttered under his breath as Becker rushed over to check on him. He crouched down and felt for a pulse before hitting Connor lightly.

"Get up Co-"

Connor sat upright with a start, eyes wide.

"Lauren! Did any of you see her? She was right there! Up in the trees! Going on about the druids and-and college and the ritual." He spewed out with out taking a breath.

"Druids? Are you feeling alright, Temple? Well you just fell out of a bloody tree, probably not." Lester paced back and forth in front of Connor.

"No I swear! I'm not lying!" Connor exclaimed.

"That's what you said about that power surge last week." Lester shot him a unappreciative look. Connor raised his hands defensively while Becker sighed.

"That wasn't exactly my fault."

Lester rolled his eyes. "Let's just get out of here. Back to civilization?" He gestured towards the path they came from and tapped his foot impatiently.

"But Lauren," Connor looked up and scanned the branches of the tree Lauren was on. She was gone. How? It was impossible. And what was that about _druids?_ Either his mind was seriously playing tricks on him, or Lauren was crazier than he had thought. And could climb trees. Like a ninja... Connor shivered at the comparison. He would never look at ninjas the same way again. Judging by the looks Lester and Becker gave him they didn't believe a word he had just said. "Never mind," Connor muttered and stood up, brushing dead things off of his leg.

"Right..." Becker gave him a look of possible concern. "You're going to the medic anyways,"

"I'm not crazy, Becker." Connor said with a glare.

"I know, but you just fell out of a tree."

"Oh...I knew that."

"Obviously." Lester intervened and started walking away.

"Here's your egg, Temple." Becker handed Connor the warm little egg and the other man's eyes lit up.

"It survived! Yes!" He pumped the air with his free hand. "I didn't kill a bird."

"But you nearly killed yourself and god knows what Lauren will do with it." Becker replied and walked off behind Lester, leaving Connor with a horrified expression and matching thought in his mind.

* * *

**This chapter is split due to the length. It was originally 5000 words and I didn't think you would like to read something that long. I don't think your computers/laptops/phones would appreciate loading 5000 words onto one page. Next part will be up soon.**


	11. Day Seven Part 2: Rodents

Matt read over their paper once they were beyond the trees away from Lauren's prying eyes. Four times, because it was only one word. He flipped the slip of scrap paper over and even rotated it to find that was the only thing written (in a quite crude handwriting only recognizable as Lauren's).

_Mouse_

He turned around, about to announce they're _only_ scavenger hunt item, to find both girls staring at him.

"You told her you weren't gay." Jess said with a teasing glint in her eye. "Is there something you want to share with us, Matt?" She asked expectantly.

"N-"

"Don't worry, either way I already have a boyfriend." Abby said with a half shrug and a half smile to match.

"We won't judge." Jess piped in.

Matt folded his arms."I just went to help Becker out with something and Lauren being Lauren jumped to conclusions." Jess and Abby nodded their heads sympathetically.

"We totally understand." Jess said and being the smart young girl she was, decided to drop the subject. "So list?"

"More like word." He held out the piece of paper towards them and they crowded around it.

"A _mouse? _Like Mickey Mouse mouse?" Jess wondered aloud.

Abby walked over to a neat little hole in the ground. "If she lets it go in the end." She said and crouched down. There was an array of little tracks in the dirt. They were scattered all over the place but the freshest tracks went in two directions. One was through a collection of tall bushes, and the another direction by a two trees and a rock. "Well there _is_ a mouse nearby. Somewhere." She muttered the last word.

"Right," Matt walked over to Abby and sighed wearily. He glanced up at the sky and didn't need to shield his eyes from the sun, because it wasn't there. Grey clouds covered the blue sky and masked the sun. A clear sign that it was going to start raining cats and dogs."If we hurry, we might avoid the rain."

Matt walked up to the two girls, now in team leader mode. "Abby, look around those bushes. Jess, by the trees. I'll check if our little friend is home."

He picked up a stick.

* * *

Jess clasped her hands behind her back as she walked towards two large trees, planted side by side, their branches entwined with each other. Like two lovers.

Looking down she spotted the mouse tracks. Jess followed them in and around both trees, all the while wondering what the hell that mouse was doing. She sighed in frustration and sat down on the rock located in between the two trees.

"I give up." She said aloud to no one in particular.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no! You are _not_ giving up!" Jess spun around in shock to see Lauren standing behind her, hands on her hips and a disproving look on her face. "Have you ever heard of someone succeeding because they gave up? No! You didn't because it is impossible!"

"Lauren? I thought you were scared of trees?" Jess blurted out without thinking.

Lauren gave her a strange look as if Jess were the nutter. "Scared of trees?" She slapped her leg and laughed. "That's silly! How can you be scared of trees? No ma'am, I'm not scared of trees. I'm scared of the druids." She nodded her head vigorously.

"Uh, the druids?"

"Yes! The druids! They want me for their blood shedding ritual. It's un-humane I tell ya." Lauren tilted her head at an un-natural angle.

"U-uh," Jess stammered. She looked back to where Matt was poking at the hole and where Abby was somewhere by the bushes, wondering whether she could attract their attention without alerting Lauren. "Sorry, can you be more specific?" Jess turned back to find Lauren had disappeared. She rubbed her eyes and decided she was just paranoid. Then she noticed the footprints.

Slightly creeped out, Jess stood up and went back to inspecting the roundabout tracks. With Lauren still fresh in her mind; Jess was too distracted to notice she was following not mouse tracks, but squirrel tracks. Which is why she was greatly confused when the tracks implied 'the mouse' climbed up a tree.

Jess looked up and became face to little face with an _angry_ squirrel. It was perched on the lowest branch holding an acorn, glaring at her. She smiled softly as it was one of the most adorable creatures she had seen. "It's alright." She said in a comforting tone to the critter. "I'm not going to hurt y-"

The squirrel leaped.

* * *

Matt poked at the burrow without any luck. No pissed off mouse. Which meant it was somewhere in the little clump of ARC forestry. He stood up and brushed the dirt off his knees, about to make his way towards the blond to ask if she found anything, when he heard a high pitched scream he recognized.

Spinning around he darted towards Jess, swiping a broken branch off the ground to use as a weapon. The only thing he could think of was that a creature had somehow managed to escape the menagerie. He darted past several shrubs and trees until he stood a few feet away from Jess, her hair a complete mess. She looked flustered and stormed past him muttering something about squirrels only looking cute in television documentaries.

Eyebrow raised he turned back to the twin trees, looking for what terrorized their lovely little Jess. All he could see was a patchy squirrel cleaning itself on the tree closest to him. He dropped the branch he was brandishing and headed after Jess who was frantically fixing her hair into a ponytail.

He decided not to ask.

* * *

She brushed back her platinum blond hair and parted the branches of the bush, hoping to find the little rodent. Instead, Abby found a caterpillar and more tracks leading into a small clearing. She ignored the twigs attacking her legs as she walked through the series of bushes and into the clearing. The tracks led to a patch of green grass.

It was hopeless now. It would be nearly impossible for her to track a mouse without tracks. If only Stephen were there, he would be able to find the slightest bend on a blade of grass and pin point where the mouse went. Abby bit her lip as she thought of her deceased friend.

She shook her head to clear her sad thoughts. As she did so, she spotted a small, brown furry rodent sitting a short distance away in the grass, scratching behind its ear like it's nobody's business.

Abby couldn't believe her luck. She crept closer to the brown blob stealthily, a skill she picked up while working at the zoo while feeding...the more aggressive animals. Just as she neared, a scream cut through the air, scaring the poor thing. As it jumped a good foot, it noticed Abby, causing it to soar higher. She grabbed for it as it landed but was too slow. The mouse darted at a Lauren speed around her and back to where Matt was, probably aiming to hide in its burrow.

_Tough._

"Matt!" Abby shouted. "It's coming your way!" She dashed after the little mammal which scurried under the bushes. Ignoring the sharp thorns she pushed through quickly and Jess and Matt appeared in view.

Jess glared at the mouse, the cause of this whole fiasco. Technically Lauren was the cause, but either way, she was as angry as Lester on a rainy day (which could be today) and was ready to catch that mouse and not let go.

Matt watched it carefully, ready to move if it did. He could feel the wind, stronger than it was before, against his back. Another sign that it was going to rain, _very_ soon.

The mouse resisted the urge to curl up in a ball and hide, but it couldn't. Not with these three humans surrounding it. But all three combined weren't as scary as that short human that chased it around the trees earlier that week. She had hardly touched the ground when she ran, that was how fast she was. Its little body shook with fear but it bravely stood its ground.

Abby made eye contact with Matt and nodded ever so slightly. He made his move and quickly scooped up the little trouble maker. It let out a squeak and struggled, as if foretelling its future with Lauren.

It fought with all its might and bit him, causing Matt to release his grip for one second, enough time for the mouse to leap.

It could taste freedom...but its dreams where crushed as Jess caught it.

She squeaked, almost matching the rodent's frequency. The only thing keeping her from dropping the mouse was the motivational thought of escaping the rain. Jess held on.

Matt gritted his teeth as he thought for a way to keep the mouse from attacking them. A mouse! They dealt with prehistoric carnivorous creatures, ten times as large as the average human was yet they were having extreme difficulty with a pesky pest? Then an idea hit him head on. He took off his jacket, shivered slightly in the cold. Using the leather side, he wrapped the mouse in a tight bundle with a small hole for air.

Jess sighed with relief and exchanged grins with Abby. Matt looked up at both girls and couldn't help but smile.

"Done," he said as the mouse rammed itself against the barrier from it and home sweet home. Matt flinched slightly when he felt a drop of water land on his head. He looked up just as it began pouring.

It was about time.

* * *

Lester glanced down at his suit which was completely soaked through. He knew his suit was ruined the instant he heard the dreadful words 'Scavenger Hunt'. It was like the time he held one for his daughter's fifth birthday, but that was another story. He trudged in the mud, stick in hand, and glanced up at Matt's bundle. A nose poked out. "What is that filthy creature?" Lester asked with a black scowl, regarding the pink nose distastefully. How very unsanitary. He glanced at the stick he was holding. How extremely unsanitary.

"It's a mouse Lester." Abby replied and walked ahead of him. The sooner they got inside, the sooner they got out of the rain.

Lester rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know that, but why is it with Matt?"

"Lauren," Team Anti-Scissors replied in unison.

Connor danced around behind Abby."Bad hair day, mate?" He elbowed Becker playfully and grinned at the soldier's normally 'perfect' hair, now ruined.

"Like you can talk." Becker retorted and threw his rock at Connor's head. It hit at a perfect angle and landed back in his hand.

"Ow, hey!"

"Hey is for horses, Connor."

And their pissing match started.

They didn't get to escape the rain, but at least they got to get out of it. Matt took a step out of the forestry and the ARC came in view, a sight he never thought he would _love_ to see. Lauren's hot pink tarp also came into view, dampering his spirits slightly. It was placed a good 20 feet away from the forests edge, evidently showing Lauren's hate (or fear, it was hard to tell with Lauren) of trees.

As they neared, they noticed Lauren was sitting in a lawn chair of the same color, one leg crossed over the other reading a World of Warcraft magazine. It looked as if she hadn't moved a muscle since they had left.

She looked up at them and beamed. "Oh you're back, you're back, you're back!" She cheered and stood up, letting the magazine fall to the plastic covered floor. The page on 'druids' fell open. "Come in and show me what you've brought!"

The shelter tempted them, but no one dared enter because of the extreme pinkness and the fact Lauren was written all over it. Literally. In blue marker.

Lester stepped forwards and extended his poo stick, wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible. He was forced to hold it for over an hour but now, no more.

"OOOOH!" Lauren clapped excitedly and took the stick from him. "Pepto poo!"

_Pepto? _Connor decided he wouldn't question her. At least not yet.

She shrieked happily and stared at the stick for a moment, inspecting the rather disgusting part of it, before tossing it back onto the sopping wet grass.

All that hard work for nothing. That was it. That was the last straw.

"I'm sick and tired of this pointless game. It is raining endlessly and my suit is soaked. Paperwork sounds more pleasant than this." He gestured to his grey surroundings with a flourish. "Have a good day." With that said, James Lester walked, head held high to the ARC. Until he slipped in the mud. But no matter, he just got back up and continued walking, determined to keep his dignity which was already lost minutes ago.

The team watched him in silence, before Lauren spoke.

"Okay doke, we'll find him again later. Who's next?"

Becker handed her his rock and she squealed. "I've been looking for one of these _everywhere_!" Lauren apparently didn't look very hard, seeing as rocks where practically found _everywhere_. She tossed the rock into her purse and spun to Connor.

"Here ya go, Lauren. Enjoy." He carefully handed her the bird's egg.

Lauren's eyes widened like saucers and she caressed the egg gently. "Pretty." She said in awe, before chucking it as well into her purse. Connor winced expected to hear a crack or a splat but heard a soft thump. He sighed in relief seeing as his hard work wasn't destroyed as has Lester's.

"And where's Mousey?" Lauren sang as she turned to the last three. She took one look at Jess and stumbled back. "Woah!" Her hand clutching where she thought her heart was, she cocked her head. "What happened to you?"

Jess frowned and gestured to her hair. "A squirrel attacked me."

"Ohhhh." Lauren nodded. "That was Pepto." She pointed to Lester's discarded poo stick. "Named him Pepto because of his..." She leaned in and whispered. "Digestive problems. Makes him cranky." She bobbed her head.

Jess didn't know what to say about that. Then she remembered her last encounter with Lauren and decided it would be a good time to ask.

"Oh, and Lauren? Were you just in there a while ago? You said something...about druids?"

Connor's eyes gleamed. He wasn't crazy! He leaned in to listen to the therapists' answer.

Lauren cocked her head again at an odd angle, the same as she did in the forest. "Of course not." She said, her tone telling everyone she was obviously lying. "And d-" Lauren's eyes widened and twitched maniacally. "d-d-d-d-" She shivered. Becker yawned. "d-druids..." She swallowed a thick lump in her throat. "don't...exist." She said, her voice barely a whisper.

There was a long silence and Matt coughed purposefully, indicating someone should speak (Lauren guessed he was catching some sort of cold).

"Okay," Jess replied simply but the answer was obvious. Lauren was probably crazier than they had thought.

Lauren nodded like a bobble head. She eyed Matt's bundle.

He opened it slowly and the mouse took that golden opportunity to jump. Lauren was faster. Way faster. She grabbed the mouse out of the air and grinned down at it, the poor creature being squished in her hands.

"Oh you're so cute! Yes you are! Soooo cute!" She cooed and petted its head as if it were a dog. The mouse closed its eyes and shook violently with fear. "You are sooo _adorable_! With your soft fur and yo- HOLY JESUS ON A FISHSTICK!" Lauren shrieked and pitched the mouse into the air, all 20 feet and into the forest, faster than it took the team to _walk_ the distance. She looked down at her finger which had two teensy little bite marks, the look on her face showing she was about to start bawling. It was similar to Matt's bite, but he wasn't the one near tears.

Abby's jaw fell as she watched the little mouse fly through the air at such heights. The zoologist side of her felt that the animal cruelty just displayed should be reported_._ The other side of her felt that their hard work was quite literally, thrown out the window.

Becker stretched his neck as Lauren cried, ignoring her. "Can we go now?" He asked and got a muffled response that sounded like 'No! I have more fun plans." but he wasn't certain. So instead, Becker turned to look at Matt. He raised an eyebrow at their team leader expectantly.

Matt picked up his sopping wet jacket and nodded. "Let's head back in where it's drier. We'll meet you inside, Lauren." At his last word, Connor and Abby took off with Jess on their tail. Becker smirked and walked after them careful not to slip on the mud.

* * *

"Ya think Lauren will be okay?" Connor asked and shook his dark mop of hair. Becker rolled his eyes and took a few steps away from him.

"Of course." Matt replied, wringing out his jacket. A large puddle of water was already forming where the team stood as a group in the main operations room. Lester glanced at them from his office, already changed into a new suit, looking annoyed with the mess they were making. A small wave from Abby caused him to scoff and return to work.

"How can you be so sure?" Jess undid her pony tail and let her hair rest on her shoulders.

"She has emergency services on speed dial," Matt said, recalling some information she had blurted out to him once in one of her fast paced rants. "and-"

The team watched as he squeezed out the last of the rain water from his jacket.

"She has a tarp."


	12. Day Eight: Twin Terrors

**Today's episode features Carlough's brilliant boys, TJ and Bear. And...action!**

* * *

The Dracorex stormed about it's enclosure looking extremely agitated. Abby didn't know what was wrong with it, just that it had started acting up half an hour ago while she was feeding the creatures. She watched it through the glass as she pondered and decided to attempt at calming it down.

Abby opened the door as quietly as possible but it noticed anyways. The Dracorex snapped it's head towards her and bared it's sharp teeth. It hissed at her before continuing to pace. She walked towards it slowly, one hand extended in a calming gesture. Suddenly, out of no where it shrieked loudly and charged at her.

Her eyes widened in surprise and she darted to the door, the Dracorex right behind her. It lunged just as she made it through the exit and slammed the door to the enclosure.

What had caused this outbreak? The answer was around the corner. Literally.

"Hungry, boys? Just wait a bit, we're almost there." Lauren sang happily. Abby exited the menagerie and looked both ways and didn't find Lauren.

Right then, two _huge_ dogs raced around the corner, tongues sticking out of their mouths, drool splattering the tiled floor. Technicians dove aside to make room for the dogs as they charged towards the only person standing in the middle of the hall, barking happily. That person was Abby.

Now she was an animal person, an expert you may say, but she hasn't seen anything that big and furry since the mammoth which wasn't even as furry as these two. As the two Caucasian Ovcharka's neared her, their expression turned from gleeful to murderous. They went in for the kill.

Attached to the two leashes snapped on both dog's collar's, was the one and (thank god) only Doctor Lauren Seris. Lauren swung around the corner a few seconds after the dogs and was dragged along forcefully. The one and only person that would bring (have even) two giant dogs to a top secret government facility. Won't Lester have a field day.

"Hold yer horses!" Lauren shouted and both dogs immediately stopped mid-lunge. They sat on their rump and stared up at Abby who hadn't moved nor breathed since the dogs arrived. She was still in shock.

The Dracorex which was feeling neglected slammed roughly against the door, growling angrily. The dogs snapped their heads towards the door in unison and barked viciously. The Dracorex shut up.

"Oh hi there Abby!" Lauren wrapped one leash on each hand and grinned brightly at the other woman. She crouched down in between the dogs and ruffled their fur. "Aren't they just _precious_? These are my babies, TJ and Bear." Lauren indicated to each dog by name. TJ was the one licking it's chops. Bear was the one that looked slightly nicer grinding his teeth. Slightly.

"Hey, Lauren." Abby choked out with slight difficulty. "I was just making my way to the conference room. They're very..." she was at loss for words. "special! If you don't mind me asking, but why are they here?"

Lauren cocked her head and both dogs imitated her. "Whaddaya mean 'why are they here'? Oh! Their sitter bailed today," A flashback of the last dog sitter running out the door screaming in terror popped into Lauren's mind. "She called my babies horrible creatures sent from down below." Lauren narrowed her eyes in the distance before turning back to Jess. "I didn't have anyone to watch them so I brought 'em to work. Y'all don't mind, right?"

The dogs glared at Abby as if saying _'Go on, tell her you mind. We dare you'._

"W-well I don't mind." Abby replied. "But I'm not sure about Becker, or Matt."

"I bet they won't mind at all." Lauren opted and to the dogs said. "Those two are nice boys." They snuffed in response. She stood up and checked her watch. "Oh dear, we're almost late. Let's go!" The blonde grabbed Abby's wrist and dragged her down several halls, a dog on each side of them.

* * *

Lester walked back and forth on the same spot, every now and then checking his watch. She was late. For once she was late. Maybe Lauren wouldn't show up. Hopefully she was sick, or was in the hospital due to a papercut, or-

His thoughts were interrupted by barking. _Barking? What the-_

Up ahead Lauren appeared in view towing Abby behind her. What was beside her was another story. Two humongous dogs trailed beside them, barking at anything and everything that moved.

Matt gave Lester a look before turning back to the dogs. Becker just rolled his eyes and muttered something about therapy not fitting his job description. Connor looked more terrified than surprised.

"Big dogs. Those are... big dogs." The geek muttered before taking a large step back.

"Hello, young grasshoppers! I have a fun, fun, fun activity planned for you! Here." She dropped the ends of both leashes into Lester's hands while she fiddled with her ring of keys.

The dogs started snapping at him, deep growls vibrating in the back of their throats. Lester jumped back and almost dropped the leashes causing all hell to break loose, but Lauren pushed him towards the dogs again.

"Quiet!" She shouted and the dogs softened but kept their gazes locked on Lester's. After what seemed like centuries Lauren finally opened the door. Lester tried giving her back the leash but she just waltzed by and inside.

The dogs gave each other a look and it seemed as if Bear nodded.

Everyone sidestepped around the civil servant and mutts and into the conference room. Lester tugged but couldn't get the two dogs into the room. He didn't dare pull any harder incase it would provoke them. Two angry dogs of that size in the ARC... forget about the ARC; two angry dogs of that size only feet away from him couldn't end well at all.

"Damn dogs." Lester growled and as if the dogs could sense a insult snarled ferociously at him.

"Come on in James!" Lauren called out from where she stood by her desk. He had barely made it past the door frame.

Connor snickered and when Lester glanced at him, tried blaming it on Matt.

"Yes, I'm coming. These...dogs...won't...budge..." With each word he tugged harder on their leash ignoring his last concern.

Lauren furrowed her brow. "TJ is a bit picky when it comes to people. Oh yes, he only likes my brother on alternate Tuesday's and Thursday's. Maybe it's the same with you for Wednesday's? Any who." She whistled sharply using her fingers causing everyone in the room to flinch. Both dogs immediately charged towards her, literally running Lester down in the process. Unfortunately he was still holding the end of the leashes.

"Oh my," The dogs dragged Lester on his back into the middle of the room.

Connor choked trying to stop laughing as Lester stood up, red from embarrassment. One glare shut him up.

Lauren patted both dogs on the head affectionately before looking at the team. "Good morning my friends! I just went on an exhilarating run with my boys and I feel great!" She gave them all a double thumbs up. Matt noticed she had on a mini thumb cast where the mouse had bitten her. It was amazing what she went to the hospital for.

"Now let us start." She performed two cartwheels around her desk where she pulled out her flashy, pink sequined purse. Lauren dug both hands inside it and pulled out last week's egg. Connor was surprised it lasted to this day.

"Today, we will try a bonding activity relating to your line of work." She announced..

"My line of work is behind a desk where there is A/C and a stack of paperwork." Lester muttered under his breath.

She continued on as she dragged a medium sized basket out from under her desk to the center of the room. The basket was stuffed with blue and pink hand crocheted blankets and planted in the center there was an egg holder. She put the light blue, brown speckled egg onto the holder and smiled proudly at it. "While you do that, I'll be incubating this cute little guy. Or girl."

"I don't think that will work, Lauren." Abby said. "The egg needs to be properly incubated, if not by the mother of the egg, then a incubator. Besides, it'll take about a month."

"Oh that's where you're wrong, Abby. This egg's already been incubated for a month. I can feel it. Yep." Lauren nodded as she touched the egg lightly. "It should hatch sometime today at around 11:43."

"While you're hatching an egg, what are we doing?" Connor asked.

Lauren pointed at TJ and Bear. "Y'all will be spending the day with my little sweeties."

Becker tilted his head to the side. "And how does that relate to our line of work? How is that 'team bonding'?"

"TJ and Bear don't like people, nope. And they're a bit crankier than usual today 'cause they're hungry and I haven't fed 'em. So they're just like them funny demented animals you keep here. Now this is what y'all are going to do; see those dog carriers over there." Lauren pointed to two beige dog carriers, big enough to fit a small horse (unicorn). "You gotta wrangle these two into those." Lauren punched the air enthusiastically. "Just like what you do with those animals, right? Right." She answered her own question with confidence.

"Now, to make it more fun and real." She skipped over and sprayed everyone with label-less spray can.

Jess wiped whatever was sprayed in her face and body away from her eyes. It smelt sweet and tangy, not like a regular airfreshner. "What is this?"

Lauren smiled. "It's a diluted barbecue glaze. So the dogs will be more engaged in the activity." Lauren explained before positioning herself on top of the egg. "Oh! I know! Think of this as a test! Putting what we learned in a real life simulation! A team bonding test!" Lauren clapped her hands excitedly.

"Is this safe?" Connor squeaked, looking down at his meat-glazed self then at the two carnivorous dogs staring hungrily at him.

Lauren slapped her knee and guffawed. "Of course it's safe silly. Worst thing that could happen would probably be ending up in the hospital which isn't that bad. I'm in the hospital nearly every other week!" she enthused as if it were a good thing to be hospitalized two times a month.

Lester muttered something about this task contravening many clauses on Health and Safety.

"Team TJ; Jess, Matt, Connor. Team Bear; Abby, Becker, Lester. Now fly my birdies fly!" Lauren shrieked and clapped her finger cymbals together.

* * *

"Anyone have any ideas?" Becker asked. Their little trio stood as far as possible from Bear. The dog scratched behind his ears, somehow looking vicious while doing so.

"Yes." Lester said. "We tie her up and chuck her out the window into the trash where her body can be disposed of secretly." he explained.

"I meant the dog." Becker replied, although Lester's idea for Lauren sounded pretty good. And as if on cue the woman skipped over whistling happily.

"Why are you all lingering? The activity started a looong time ago." She stretched out the word dramatically. "Let's go, go, go!"

When no one moved she sighed and took Becker's hand (happily) and dragged him towards Bear who had begun growling softly.

Lester and Abby took a few steps back, deep in their hearts feeling a pang of sympathy for Becker.

"Now c'mere. What Bear needs is a hug, don't ya think? Yes he does." Lauren answered her own question with a firm nod. She forced Becker to kneel on the ground in front of Bear who wasn't at all enjoying this invasion of privacy. Lauren wrapped her arms around his (again, happily) and then wrapped his arms around Bear's neck.

"See? Doesn't this make everything better? Of course it does," Lauren answered herself again before glancing over at Team TJ. "Oh my lord, is everyone terrified of dogs here?" She broke away from Becker and dashed over to Matt's group.

Becker felt the vibrations in the back of Bear's throat as he growled and was about to pull away when the dog bit him.

Abby covered her mouth with both hand's, wearing an expression of horror. Lester muttered something about medical leave and started towards Becker.

Bear growled louder and bit deeper into Becker's shoulder. The Captain didn't even flinch. Instead he held up his hand signaling for Lester to stop in his tracks.

"Get Lauren," Becker called out towards them in a calm tone. The dog bit harder, confused as to why he wasn't writhing in pain on the floor like the mailman.

* * *

Connor stared at TJ. TJ stared back. It was intense. Connor's right eye twitched, then his left. They began to water.

Jess watched with slight interest...10 feet away. The dogs were quite large, and toothed. It was safer that way. Much safer than Connor's current position.

Connor bit his lip as he tried to concentrate. Then he blinked. At that exact moment his eyes closed, TJ sprung.

The huge dog tackled Connor, growling fiercely. He probably weighed more than Connor and Matt combined. With his paws planted firmly on Connor's quivering chest, TJ went for the throat excitedly ignoring the shouting coming from his prey. If it weren't for Matt, Connor may have died in a therapy session. Very sad indeed.

Matt kicked the dog over to the side -other than rolling it off Connor- unaffecting it. He pulled the younger man to his feet and they both took a few steps away from the now angry dog. TJ barked and began circling the three slowly and threateningly.

Matt reviewed their current situation in his mind. They were supposed to get that dog, into a dog carrier and lock it. All the while smelling strongly like barbecued meat. Which was apparently Lauren's idea of a team building test.

The carrier wasn't too far from the dog, nor 'Team TJ'. Several ideas ran through Matt's mind, most of them ending up with being injured in some sort of gruesome way.

Lauren seemed to notice they were having difficulty because just as TJ was about to lunge at them she intervened. The blonde skipped over in front of them creating a barrier between man and dog.

"C'mon! Let's get thing's started. We don't have all day. Oh wait, yes we do."

Lauren pulled the first person she saw, Matt, and pushed him towards TJ. He didn't resist. Setting an example was one of the jobs as team leader. Matt walked fearlessly over to TJ, the dog's growl getting louder every step Matt took towards him.

Jess and Connor watched in horror from where they stood with Lauren who clasped her hands together and was smiling proudly, unaware of the danger Matt was in.

Matt crouched down in front of the bristling dog so they were eye to eye. Matt ruffled TJ's fur and the dog fell silent. With his other hand he signaled Connor and Jess to get the carrier ready. They immediately sprung to action, dragging the carrier over and opening the mesh door.

Matt rose slightly from his crouch, still managing to keep eye contact, forcing the TJ to look up at him. He loomed slightly over the dog giving the impression he had more power. TJ tried snarling but it ended up in a whimper.

"Woah," Connor whispered to Jess.

"Woah," She agreed as they watched Matt intimidate the intimidator. A feat that she and Connor would never try.

Matt glared at the dog and pointed to the carrier. "In." He commanded firmly.

TJ glared back fiercely as he trotted slowly into the carrier which Jess slammed shut and Connor locked. But the look in the dog's eye showed that he had made a new enemy. Matt.

* * *

Abby ran towards Lauren quickly who was smiling proudly at the other team whom had managed to settle TJ in his designated carrier. Lauren turned towards Abby and canted her head.

"Yes?" she asked, oblivious to the scene behind Abby.

"Your dog just bit Becker." Abby stated as clearly as possible for her to understand. Lauren just stood there for a second before it registered in her mind. When it did, she stomped over to where Becker was tolerating Bear and yanked the dog off of him by the collar with such force it surprised them both. Immediately Becker clutched his shoulder and staggered backwards, looking deeply pained.

Jess rushed over to him immediately. "Are you alright?" She asked in concern as she placed her hand over his. By then the rest of the team had joined them.

Bear lay on his back in shock and Abby and Connor took this opportunity to shove him in the remaining carrier.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Becker moved his hand and showed her that through the torn layer of his jacket was a bullet proof vest. He winked at her before resuming his look of pain when Lauren walked in front of them.

"Oh dear. Bear didn't mean it, I'm sure. You must have provoked him or something!" She exclaimed.

_You're the one that made me hug that lump of fur. _"Yeah, probably." Becker replied, gritting his teeth.

Lauren looked at his shoulder in horror, thinking the 'blood' was masked by the black uniform. "We've got to get you to a hospital!"

"No, no it's fine. It's just a scratch." Becker swooned counteracting his last sentence. Jess jumped in, seeing where this was going.

"A bite, Becker. That's what you said last time, when you were bitten by that reptilian dog thing." She made a sound of disgust. "You were on medical leave for a few days! We have to get you to the medical bay, now. No 'but's'."

"Right," He grimaced and turned to Lauren. "I need to get this checked out in case of infection. Your dogs don't have rabies do they?"

Lauren turned to look at both dogs in their prisons. "You two haven't been eating those rabid chipmunks again have you?" She turned back to Becker. "Don't think so. Anyway, you have permission to go. And take Jess with you. The buddy system." She nodded. "We can continue on without you two."

"Fantastic," Becker limped out the door with Jess aiding him. Once they made it half way down the hall he straightened up and bowed slightly. "And that is how you avoid spending a day with two possibly rabid mutts."

Jess smiled brightly at him and applauded his performance. He smiled back, mesmerizing her for a moment but long enough to make her blush. She looked down in an attempt to mask it and was glad when he spoke, breaking the one sided awkward tension.

"Hey, Jess. Do you think you can pull a false anomaly alert?" Becker asked thoughtfully.

"Uh, yes. I think I can. Wh-" Realization dawned on her and she grinned. "Oh, okay. I'm on it." She clicked past him in her ridiculously high highheels towards the ADD.

Becker leaned against the wall, his gaze locked on the door to Conference Room A. He waited and then he heard it. The anomaly alert blared but it sounded different from the normal alarm. Different enough for the team to notice. Almost immediately the door burst open and Connor scrambled out desperately.

"Sorry, Lauren. We gotta run. Duty calls," He shouted and dashed down the hall, making a sharp turn and stopping when he was out of Lauren's view. Connor pressed himself against the wall adjacent to Becker's and gave the soldier a thumbs up.

"But- " Lauren called back from inside the conference room.

Abby cut her off. "Lauren! I don't think leaving your egg out like that is a good idea."

Lauren looked from the team to the egg with a look of panic on her face. She decided that her egg was more important and quickly ran back to it.

Immediately the rest of the team took off towards where the other two where hiding.

"That was staged wasn't it?" Matt asked with his arms folded.

"Yes," Becker responded.

"Mis-use of government technology. I could fire you." Lester said, his arms also folded. His expression lightened up slightly. "But it got us out of...that, so you're let off the hook."

Connor glared at Lester. "Hey, you let him off the hook but not me? When ever I set off a false alarm you get all picky about it."

"That's because you pull for no apparent reason except to startle everyone in the residence!" Lester shot back before shaking his head wearily. "Becker, get those dogs out of here. I don't care how you do it, just get them out. Matt, Abby, tell Jess to turn off that bloody alarm. It's giving me a migraine. Connor..." Lester thought hard for a job to give the twit. "Go and play in your lab."

With that, James Lester strode off towards the comfort of his air conditioned office in complete satisfaction.


	13. Day Nine: Candy Cane Lane

Matt yawned and rubbed the base of his neck wearily. He had made the mistake of falling asleep in his chair that night. He frowned and tried thinking about what he was up to before he fell asleep. Matt shook his mouse and the screen slowly came to life. He was researching. That was it.

A knock on the door brought him back to reality. He closed all the windows before shutting down his laptop. Matt straightened his collar and cuffs, flattened his hair, and cleared his throat before opening the door.

Jess stared up at him, a bright smile on her face. "Morning, sleepy head," she teased.

"Is it that noticeable?" Matt asked with a slight frown.

"Sorta," Jess replied. "Pulled another all-nighter?" Jess tilted her head to the side.

"Almost," Matt blinked a few times before checking his watch. It was that dreadful time of day again.

"Therapy. Today's the last day." Jess grinned and clapped her hands. No wonder why she was so chipper. For the first time in a few days, Matt smiled.

"Has it been two months already? Fantastic. I can actually spend Wednesdays working on something more important." He started off towards the conference room. Jess skipped beside him, her 4-inch purple heels clicking with every step.

They met up with Connor and Abby, bickering about something as usual, then Becker and Lester, chatting about some meeting they were forced to attend. Matt noticed they were in a better Wednesday mood than usual, probably because of the fact after this they wouldn't have to see hide nor hair of Lauren or her antics.

Connor began whistling a cheery tune as he knocked out a rhythm on the door. Lauren opened it almost immediately and hugged him tightly enough that his whistling turned into wheezing.

"OH EM GEE! Today's the last day! I can't believe it!" Lauren's eyes bulged in her disbelieving state.

"I can," Connor muttered once he was released.

"Hey, Lauren. How's that bird of yours?" Abby asked in curiosity. She remembered last seeing Lauren rush off to sit on it last week.

"Oh, he hatched last Wednesday. Want to see some photos?" Lauren produced a chain of photos out of her back pocket and held the up for everyone to see. In every photograph there was a little fluffy falcon. Most photos showed it attacking a pair of scissors viciously. She pocketed the photos again and gestured to the team.

"Today, we will be doing something recreational and fun! Like the last day of school ya know. We're going to play my _favourite _game in the world." Lauren bounced over to her desk and opened a drawer. She withdrew a long rectangular box that had colorful candy designs. "Candy Land!"

"A children's board game?" Becker asked in mild disbelief. "Why don't you just sign us off for the day and we'll never have to see each other again?"

Lauren glared at him with her hands on her hips. "Now, Becker, judging by your negative attitude I have a feeling you have never played Candy Land before. It's an amazing board game that tests your skills of color and rainbows. Besides, the game is about candy! What's better than that?"

"A gun, and a target strikingly similar to you," Becker muttered under his breath. Matt smirked and coughed to cover a small laugh.

Lauren held her head and shook it disappointedly. "Gather around in a circle everyone. I've brought my collector's edition and original from home so we have enough pieces." She lay out one of her game boards on the floor and beckoned for everyone to sit. Since there were doubles of the gingerbread character pieces, she added duct tape with an initial scribbled on one of each of the doubles. Lauren distributed the game pieces, giving one to herself, and dropped the last one back in the box.

Lester glanced at his little red gingerbread and wondered why he was playing a game his daughters played. At work.

Connor took his blue gingerbread and used it to headbutt Abby's green one. Abby rolled her eyes at his childishness.

Jess fiddled with her yellow piece and remembered her younger days when she played this game.

Becker didn't touch his blue piece with a little 'B' written on duct tape.

Matt raised his eyebrows in amusement and flicked his red 'M' piece as Becker scowled at his blue 'B' piece.

Lauren just smiled at everyone as she shuffled the little square color cards.

"This is how you play; when it's your turn you will draw one of these cards. You move to the closest square of that color on the board. Easy, peasy. If you get one of the building cards, that's where you land. To win, you have to get to the Candy Castle where King Kandy is, but remember; everybody's a winner!"

"Sure, yeah," Connor said and grinned at Abby. "Imma beat ya to pulp! Bring it on!"

Lauren ignored his competitive remark. "Let's go in a circle. I'll go first." She announced and picked up her yellow L piece to place it with everyone's on the board. Lauren drew a card and clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh look! I get to go to the Candy Cane Forest! Yay!" She squealed happily and placed her character on a space next to - well a forest made out of candy canes.

Lester grumbled under his breath and took a card. "Orange," he muttered and moved his red gingerbread to the closest orange space. Lauren's eyes widened. "You just landed on the Rainbow Trail!" She moved his piece up along the rainbow ladder so his piece was now on the second row.

"Fantastic," Lester said with little, close to no enthusiasm. He drew his legs towards his chest and leaned against the conference room table in boredom.

Connor took his card and frowned as he moved his piece up one square.

"It's okay, Connor. It's just a game," Lauren said then began bouncing on the spot as Abby landed on the same spot as Lester. "Oooh! We have a tie for the lead!"

Becker nudged Jess to get her attention. "Switch with me," he whispered to her when Lauren's back was to them. Jess shook her head and grinned at his crestfallen expression. Lauren spun towards Becker and leaned towards him, holding the cards out. He hesitated before reluctantly taking one and moving his piece to the yellow square.

Matt watched as Lauren enthused about the game and encouraged Jess to draw. Eventually after her spastic cheers it was his turn. Matt drew a card from the shuffled pile and moved his piece...next to Lauren's. Out of all the odds he managed to draw the same card. Lauren clapped her hands and squealed.

"Oooo! We can travel through the Candy Cane Forest together, Matty! We can also meet Mr. Mint and lick some peppermints-" Lauren rambled on about her minty fantasy for a good ten minutes. During that interval of time, each team member was racking their brains for some sort of clever way to get out of their last 'fun' day of therapy.

"My god, can she talk." Lester checked the time on his Blackberry and found it was hardly half an hour since they arrived. "I'm looking forward's to the end of this day."

"Aren't we all?" Becker asked rhetorically as he watched Lester take another card.

And for the first time in ARC history...they stayed for the entire day. Playing _one_ game of _Candy Land_. There were many arguments, or in Lester's words 'heated discussions', many he had participated in. By noon Connor and Lester were participating in their own little race to find the king of Candy Land. The rest of the team placed bets. The arguments and Lauren's ranting/rambling between turns took up most of the time, ranging from 5 minutes to 40 minutes.

Connor made it clear that he had played Candy Land several times as a child and knew the Gum Drop Mountains like the back of his hand. Lester pointed out that he had young daughters that played the game nearly every day so he was forced to either play or watch. Lauren said everyone was a winner and that they shouldn't argue over trivial things like titles. More like they shouldn't argue at all because arguing is a conversation filled with negativity. Becker told the both of them Candy Land was a game of chance. Matt broke up the physical fights that happened once or twice. Jess and Abby just played the game to make Lauren happy.

In the end, they did find out who won and were greatly surprised. No, it was not Lauren.

Matt placed his little 'M' piece on the last square and looked up at Lauren. "Do I win?"

There was an eerie silence as Connor and Lester gaped at him before glaring back at each other. Abby began laughing and went to comfort her sorry sport boyfriend. Jess grinned up at Becker who returned the smile. Lauren stared at the board, her piece lagging behind all the others. She was so used to winning whenever she played with RBS (Rainbow Sprinkles Supreme her 'imaginary' unicorn, not RSS because of dwarfism). After she got over her initial shock she jumped to her feet and pumped Matt's hand, somehow managing to switch from utterly depressed to proud and therapist-like.

"Congratulations, Matt! You've found King Kandy and now Candy Land can be safe from evil things like scissors, and unicorn eating wolves." Her eyes widened in horror at each mention. She shuddered. "Scissors..."

The rest of the team glanced at the clock and noticed that work had ended about an hour ago. Connor raised his hand to get her attention like a schoolboy.

"Yes Connor?"

"Well-" he started.

"-time's up and I want to go home." Lester cut him off bluntly. Lauren shot him a look.

"James, it's not nice interrupting someone." She scolded, wagging her finger up and down. "It's very, very rude. So rude, I cannot describe the rudeness I'm feeling right now. Except it's giving me a bad case of hives. I'm allergic to rudeness you know! It can also hurt their feelings and make them feel useless and then they'll be sad and have low self-esteem and then they'll kill themselves and then they'll be dead and then we'll all be sad. Now Connor, speak."

Connor shrugged his shoulders and jerked a thumb over to Lester who was frozen in shock and confusion at being told off. "I was pretty much going to say what he said."

"Not yet. Since today's the last day I have something to present to each of you." Lauren ran over to her magically clean and empty desk and rooted through her purse. She pulled out a page of stickers. As she ran back she slapped a sticker on everyone, either their forehead or chest. They were the motivational kinds, the ones that said 'Good Job!' or 'Congratulations!', with in fine print at the bottom: _'Dr. Lauren Seris, Therapist'._

"Uh, thanks," Jess said carefully and looked down at the sticker.

"Now we can go," Lauren announced cheerily and she grabbed her purse. "Let's walk out together!" With that she skipped ahead of them and out the door. Having no way out other than the window, the team followed.

They made their way into the hub, the night crew already starting to settle in. Abby pushed the button for the lift and they all waited, Lauren humming off-tone to some peppy song. They eventually were forced to cram themselves in the lift with Lauren, Lester and Matt unfortunately being stuck beside her.

Lester tried ignoring Lauren's ponytail in his face by distracting himself with the thought that in a few minutes he would be on the road driving away from this person of insanity.

The lift doors opened and Lester was the first to get out...and the first to notice Philip.

"Philip," he said, slightly startled. "What are you doing here?"

Burton lifted his head and noticed the team. "I'm working on a few things here. Like every Wednesday night, right Ms. Seris?"

Lauren nodded and grinned. Lester looked at the both of them. "You know each other?"

"Yes, every Wednesday evening Ms. Seris comes by and we usually bump into each other. You get to know someone that way," Burton said and smiled warmly at Lauren.

"Yup, but I'm 'fraid today's the last day you'll be seeing me," Lauren said glumly.

"Oh?" Burton glanced at the team who nodded joyfully. "That's not good." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "How about we continue on with these therapy sessions? They do benefit you don't they?"

While Lauren nodded like a bobble head everyone shook their heads.

"I think we've benefited enough, Philip," Lester said.

"Nonsense. Therapy will resume." He stepped into the lift and waved as the doors closed. In everyone's minds they were screaming 'No!'.

Lauren grinned as she bounced in front of the team. "Hear that good news sent from heaven above? Y'all be havin' more bonding time with each other and me!"

The team didn't have time to respond (or even have a response) because suddenly there was the sound of thunder (even though they were in an underground lot). Lauren shrieked and turned to the closest person to her, Abby.

"What day is it?" she screamed in terror.

"Ju-July 4th." Abby managed to say while staring at the small whirlwind that appeared next to Lauren.

"Independence Day! How could I have forgotten! The druids always come after me on holidays. A-and I don't have any wood." Lauren looked at the mini whirlwind in horror.

The team backed up and Becker reached for his gun only to remember he left it in the armory. Lester told him to stop bringing it to their therapy sessions since the incident with his laptop.

From the middle of the whirlwind a hooded figure appeared, cloaked in a long robe. "Lauren..." he croaked and outstretched a hand towards her. "Lauren..."

"The druids have sent Tredolfus to get me!" Lauren explained in a quick whisper to the team as she backed towards the lift.

"Sapling Devil!" Tredolfus pointed at Lauren. "You must be sacrificed to make things right!" The druid moved towards Lauren but stopped in front of Becker who Lauren decided to hide behind.

"Oh. I don't have my gun. I surrender," Becker stated bluntly and took a small step aside revealing Lauren. The rest of the team did the same as they didn't have any sympathy for the insane woman that ruined their lives every Wednesday.

"G-get away from me, Tredolfus!" Lauren shrieked.

"My name is Robert! How many times do I have to tell you that, woman?" Tredolfus boomed but was ignored.

Lauren pressed frantically at the button for the lift and clawed at the metal doors. Lester mentally applauded Philip for going up to the top floor. What he was doing there, he would never know.

"Sorry, Sapling Devil?" Connor asked the druid which he was sure didn't exist in the real world.

Tredolfus snapped his head towards Connor who shrank under his gaze. "This creature broke a branch off a sapling of the Sacred Pine. She had the nerve to do it in the middle of one of our rituals, too."

"Ouch, sucks for you Lauren," Connor said. "Continue."

The druid turned back to Lauren. "We must not make the druids wait any longer."

"No! Tredolfus!"

"It's Robert!" With that, he clapped his hands and the two disappeared in a cloud of colorful smoke.

The whole parking lot was silent, the core ARC team staring at the spot where the whole performance took place. They didn't know whether that had just happened but they all hoped it did.

Sadly, on the other side of the rainbow. Lauren managed to escape the druids once again with her trust steed, Rainbow Sprinkles Supreme. But, they didn't know that.

It was Connor that broke the silence.

"Well I'm beat. Let's go home." He yawned and headed off to the car. Everyone made sounds of agreement and with quick goodbyes they went off their separate ways, knowing that the following day they wouldn't speak a word of this.

Jess went with Abby and Connor, thinking how she would have nightmares about this. Abby mentally thanked the druid and considered the whole event some sort of blessing. Connor relished the thought that he had just met a druid, like a druid from WoW. Becker headed to his car questioning whether security needed to be improved then deciding not to as the druid was a magical creature. That thought alone spurred many more. Lester wondered how he would explain to Philip that their therapist was kidnapped by a druid to be used in some sort of bloody ritual. All of their thoughts revolved around druids and probably would for the next few days.

Matt was the only one not questioning what had just happened. He drove to his flat while reviewing the past two months in his head.

He did manage to conclude, that after all the insanity, the crazy so called 'team building' activities, they did learn more about each other. Matt would never admit it out loud, especially in front of Lauren, but the sessions did help them in a round about sort of way. There were many examples of when they worked together as a team; during those crazy games and activities, the day they spied on Lauren... Now that he thought about it they had to use team building to ditch team building.

So in the end...well...they bonded.

**~Fin**

* * *

**I would like to thank Carlough for 1) loaning me the idea and her OC's : the lovely Lauren Seris, TJ and Bear, and Tredolfus/Robert the druid. 2) Helping me out with parts of the story and editing this chapter.**

**I would also like to thank all of my readers and reviewers for the inspiration that got me to 180 reviews in 12 chapters. Now, now, don't get all emotional.**

**-Squabble**


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